His grip tightened in my hair, sending sharp pains across my head. “Open your mouth or I will report you to your Pillar,” he threatened.
I felt the tears fill my eyes. I didn’t want to be punished, but I would be if I didn’t follow Mr. Bastrom’s instructions.
He shoved it harder, and I shuddered. I didn’t have a choice.
I finally allowed my lips to part, trying to force my jaw to relax, and I immediately felt the thing slip into my mouth. It was long and it just kept going deeper and deeper until I felt hair touch my tongue.
I gagged as it pushed to the back of my tongue, something slapping against my chin. I wanted this to stop. I needed it to stop.
My nails dug into my knees, his grip tightening into my hair.
“Somebody help me,”I begged as Mr. Bastrom pulled my head back and brought it back to him.
“Please!”I wanted to scream as tears slid down my cheeks. My stomach twisted and turned, the worms growing more restless, my body shaking, pain flaring across my thighs and head. The scent of cigars and stale mint was too much. All I could taste was bitter salt and I hated it.
Mr. Bastrom kept pushing into me, that thing, his cock, hitting the back of my tongue over and over again.
I felt my mind start to drift. Drift back to the first time I ever felt those warm eyes on me.
I had been in darkness for so long, the chill overtaking me, that when I felt that warmth, I was almost shocked. I couldn’t believe it. After a while I started to think that God had finally come down to rescue me. Take me from this bad place.
But it was just Azrael. I wondered if anyone else could feel how warm his eyes were. I wondered what they looked like. I couldn’t imagine what color they were. What color would warm eyes be? Brown? No, Azrael wasn’t the name of a man with brown eyes.
Blue maybe, but not any normal kind of blue, it would be far different. Something that matched that lilt. Something that made Thomas angry beyond reason. Something that—
I choked as something hit the back of my throat. Warm and slimy. That salty taste overtook my senses, going up my nose, burning as it slid down my throat.
Mr. Bastrom pulled out and I fell to my hands, coughing and choking, spitting it on the floor, gagging as it dripped from my nose. The white stuff. Semen. He had orgasmed in my mouth.
I felt tears and saliva cover my face, my head pounding as I stared at the spot on the floor. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to taste anything but that taste. Anything at all. I would drink bleach if I could just get it out of my mouth.
I couldn’t catch my breath, heaving as Mr. Bastrom zipped up his pants and walked towards the door.
I wanted to disappear. I wanted to be the ghost. I wanted the sea to overtake me. To erode me away to nothing. I wanted to be nothing.
I felt a hand wrap around my arm and jerk me up. “You let him fuck your mouth?” Thomas seethed into my ear.
I stared at that pool of white, my mouth pooling with saliva. Fuck? He used that word often. What did it mean? It sounded crude and ugly. That’s what it felt like. Crude and ugly.
“Come here, you worthless whore.”
I wasn’t a whore. I wasn’t a whore.
He dragged me out of the room and into the changing room. His movements were angry as he tore the clothes off me, tore the pigtails out, stripped me of everything until I was standing in front of him bare.
He forced me to my knees and grabbed my jaw, jerking my face up, my eyes closing on instinct. “You’ve crossed a line,girl, disrespected our wedding.”
I didn’t mean to. I swear. It wasn’t my fault.
He released my jaw painfully and his steps disappeared.
I spit again, trying to rid myself of the taste. I was impure now. I would never be redeemed. I had broken the biggest rule. The most important one.
I had let one of them, not Thomas, penetrate me.
His steps sounded again, and he grabbed my jaw, leaning down until his hot breath touched my eyelashes. “This is for betraying your sacred duties.”
My entire body went rigid as he stood and took a few steps back, but he didn’t step behind me.
