I lifted my right hand, scared of what I would see, only to find my hand glisten but nothing more. It wasn’t white and creamy like the Leaders at all.
My brows furrowed as I studied it, smearing my fingers together. It didn’t feel like water, even though it was clear.
I brought my fingers to my nose, my insides shaking, but it didn’t smell like them either.
After a few seconds, I lowered my hands to my stomach and stared up at the clothes above me, into the dark nothingness, my heart still beating a little harder than normal.
If that was an orgasm, and my cum, then the church had lied to me.
Why would the church lie to me?
34
Scarlett
March 15th, 2023
It’s only been two days since Azrael left my house, and all I could do was think. Think about everything that had happened to me since as far back as I could remember. Think about everything they had done to me, everything they had said.
Mother gifting me to Thomas to be betrothed at 9 years old.
The first beating I had gotten after she died for not remembering the right rules.
My first lashing for accidentally looking into the wrong person’s eyes.
The first time I had to stand in front of the True Congregation and be looked at while those grunts and groans and the sounds of slapping flesh filled the air.
The hatred of the eyes I felt on me every single day. The cruel words of the women who hated me for taking their place or the cruel words from the men who wanted to be the one to make me impure so they received the blessing God had bestowed upon me.
The Good Book preached love and all I had ever felt was cold, evil things, convincing myself that it was love because that’s what they told me.
They told me to listen, and I listened.
They told me to obey, and I obeyed.
They told me to worship the men because men were God’s gift to this world and should be held most high for what they gave to us. They were allowed to bend the rules.Theywere allowed to orgasm.They were allowed to do everything, while the Favorites, boys and girls alike, were told how to act, how to dress, how to breathe.
Those they didn’t raise to become Pillars became…what? If they lied about women orgasming, then they had to have lied about where they took the Favorites once they were married. Where did they go? What happened to them?
What happened to the people who went to Absolution?
Did they all end up like I was going to end up? Being shared among the Leaders, being penetrated by their Pastors?
What about their children?
My eyes widened, my hands clenching into fists. Thomas was going to take my children and turn them into he and I. The girls would be sold to the church, and the boys would become like him.
I couldn’t let that happen.
I wouldn’t.
But what could I do?
The key slid in the lock, and I immediately stood, taking my place in the middle of the living room, tilting my head down, placing my hands at my sides and I waited. It was only Wednesday. I was dressed in sweats and a tee shirt, nothing worthy of Azrael’s visit. Why was he here?
The door opened a moment later, and I felt those warm eyes wash over me.
He was quiet as he shut the door behind him. After several seconds, he spoke. “You’ve been festering,” he noted, walking towards the table.
