I was wrong before though. Her outside wasn’t made of feathers. It was made of the walls of that room and the fire that I had to reignite inside of her was behind that locked door. I think I was inching closer to that key though. I think what I hadin this box might help remind her of the power in her bones.
If not, then I needed to figure out a way to give her my power. Give her my strength. Show her that anger could be a weapon and not something she needed to fear, even in this amount because I knew she felt it. I knew she felt it deep within her bones.
Maybe that’s exactly what it was.
Maybe she was so afraid of feeling it that deeply that she was swallowing it for fear of what she would become.
If that were the case…
My hand tightened around the large black box. Evelyn said Olivia’s eyes had said it all. That she was ready for the gift I had made for her before the night she was taken. Some pretty new jewelry for my girl. A reminder of the tether that was forever bound between us.
I had lost all control, and I needed it back but so had she, and in her mind, her control was found in being owned.
I had learned so much trying to find a way to heal her, and I think this was it. I think I could help her by doing what I did best: owning her.
But I had to approach this in a new way. A better way.
Merlin was now sleeping on Lucy’s head, Lucy laying on the floor just under Olivia.
I didn’t think Lucy liked the mouse very much at first, but I think he was growing on her. I think Lucy could see how important Merlin was, and I think part of her knew that the only way her friend would heal was by holding onto this little mouse.
I had gone back and forth on what that mouse meant to Olivia. Maybe it was a representation of how she felt, how she saw herself. Maybe she saw him as a victim of the Delepski’s just like herself. I wasn’t sure, all I knew was that the mouse was the most cared for mouse in this entire world. And itwouldn’t surprise me if he loved her.
Olivia?
She was clutching the sleeping Baily against her chest, tangled around she and the giraffe like a spider around a fly.
Even witnessing this, I felt guilt at how much jealousy filled me at the sight.
Fuck, I missed her. I missed her touch, I missed her voice. I missed the way she said my name, the way her eyes shifted when our conversations turned from serious to playful. As if it was a game in her mind to push me to the point of snapping. To the point of pinning her against the wall and reminding her who she was.
Stella tilted her head to one side as I worked my jaw, walking slowly around the couch to get a better view of my girl. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.
I ran a hand through my hair, studying her carefully, watching her breathe softly, her face eased of all pain, all the suffering. She was at peace now. “She’s going to be fine,” I said, and I wasn’t sure who for. Me or Olivia or even the dog, I didn’t care. I just needed to say it. It had been a long time since I had felt this kind of powerlessness. Not since I was a boy had I felt such a feeling, yet ever since she was taken, it’s all I could feel. All I was capable of feeling, so no, I wasn’t sure why I said it. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need, why my hands had to be gripped into fists to keep themselves from shaking, or why I was seeking comfort in my sisters, but there it was.
I needed to gain it back. I needed to get it back, and I know she needed that too.
Stella looked over to her daughter and the woman holding her, and, after a second or two, she nodded, a soft smile touching her lips. “Yeah, she’s going to be fine.”
And I felt the emotion burn the back of my eyes as my jaw clenched shut. Yeah, she would be fine.
Stella was quiet a moment before she shoved her hair back and sat back. “How long has she been holding that in?”
I crouched down in front of Lucy who looked as tired as Olivia had right before she finally passed out after sobbing for so many hours. “Since the second we brought her to the hospital,” I answered truthfully. “She made that house though,” I nodded towards the home she had built for her pet mouse and placed on the coffee table. “She’s made a few of them since getting back here. Merlin lives in it.”
Stella visibly shifted. “I saw the mouse,” she said, clearly uncomfortable.
I didn’t care how uncomfortable anyone was, that mouse would stay so long as she needed it.
Baily shifted, blinking heavily, and I wondered if she was even comfortable with how she was laying. “Whoa,” she mumbled, looking directly at the house.
Had she not been asleep at all? How was it possible that she stayed awake all this time?
“Baily, sweetheart, why aren’t you sleeping?” her mom asked, wondering the same thing.
She yawned, pushing back into Olivia. “Just in case she needs me.”
My eyes lifted to the kid’s and I couldn’t help but swallow. She was going places, I could see it in those eyes of hers, just like Olivia’s. I wondered how many of our kids would have those same eyes. I hoped all of them. I hoped they all looked like her.
