My body went slack, drained of every ounce of energy I had, and I watched as he lifted those fingers and licked them off one by one. Slowly and deliberately.
He released my wrist, my head spinning, and untied the ribbon by pulling on only one end.
My hands fell slack at my sides, my body swaying, my legs shaking, the feeling still buzzing through me, slowing as my heart did.
He easily pulled my dress down. His eyes found mine, once again hard and chilling. “Your first payment is complete,” he said coldly, almost in a detached voice, before he headed for the entrance of the small alcove. “Being inside of you is the only way it counts,” he tossed back as if it were some sort of afterthought. “See you soon.”
I watched after him until he disappeared before turning back to the trees in front of me. Goddammit.
12
Everett
April 28th, 2022
Fuck!
13
Olivia
April 28th, 2022
Ittook me a full 30 minutes to gain the strength back to walk away. Mentally, emotionally, physically.
I was confused, exhausted, angry, frustrated…
Whole.
And all I could think about, the only thing on my mind as I walked back towards that park, Lucy happy to just be on the walk again, was how good his fingers had felt, how good his lips had tasted. How amazing he had sounded talking to me like that.
I was sweating now. The cool breeze chilling my skin.
“It’s an orgasm, little writer,”he had said,“and you have been denying yourself for far too long.”
I felt embarrassed, humiliated, and like three years ofsomethinghad been stolen from me.
No, Steven wasn’t the greatest in bed, but I thought I was doing myself justice by getting myself off. Turns out I had failed at that too.
How does a woman not know how to properly give herselfan orgasm? How had I spent the last three years since Steven popped my cherry ‘discovering myself’ but notactuallydiscovering anything?
Some whore I was.
I covered my face as Lucy led us back through the park. I felt shame and guilt and like all I wanted to do was go back to that damn table and wait for the next ‘collection’ like a kid waiting for the ice cream truck to drive down their street.
I groaned and shook my head, dropping my hand. Something was wrong with me. Something was so desperately wrong with me that I should probably schedule a psyche evaluation.
What I should do, actually, was cancel that appointment tomorrow or face pure embarrassment.
God. Therewassomething truly wrong with me.Me.I was what was wrong with me.
~~~
May 3rd, 2022
I didn’t want to go to The Club.
I mean I never wanted to go to The Club, but especially not today.
