‘Yes?’ I ask, aware that my heart has started thudding in my chest. What has Stuart said to him?
‘He said you banged, back in the day. He wasn’t very polite about you, actually. I’m confused, because the Tori he describedwouldn’t have offered to help me like you just did, especially after the way I’ve been behaving.’
‘When you say he wasn’t very polite?’
He thinks for a moment. ‘I think the main points were that you were emotionally draining and not up to much in bed.’
My relief that Stuart has obviously only shared our ancient history, and not New Year’s Eve, is swiftly replaced by indignation. Before I can think better of it, my mouth is running away with me.
‘I see. And this from a guy that’s so shallow he’d find a puddle emotionally draining,’ I shoot back hotly. ‘Also, not that it’s any of your business, it takes two to tango and Stuart couldn’t even find the bloody dancefloor.’
I’m just cursing myself for sinking to Stuart’s level when I become aware that Robert is laughing softly.
‘What?’ I ask him.
‘Couldn’t even find the dancefloor,’ he repeats. ‘That’s funny. Do you know what? I think I’ve misjudged you. You’re all right, Tori.’
It feels like I’ve only been asleep for five minutes when I’m woken up again by a furious pounding on the door.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Robert groans from his bed before calling out, ‘Who is it?’
‘This is your breakfast call,’ Amy’s voice trills from the other side of the door. ‘Rise and shine!’
With a sigh, I pull back the duvet and swing my legs out, before padding across to the door of our room and opening it. Amy is on the doorstep, looking immaculate in a hot pink T-shirt over perfectly pressed bright yellow shorts. Behind her, Stuart’seyes seem to have locked onto my chest. I glance down to see whether I’ve spilled something down my top, only to discover that the outline of my nipples is clearly visible behind the fabric. I shoot him a filthy look before crossing my arms to cut off his view. I return my gaze to Amy, who is scowling with displeasure.
‘You’re not even ready!’ she exclaims crossly.
‘For what?’ I ask.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake. Didn’t you read the WhatsApp schedule I sent? We’re all having breakfast together at seven each morning.’
‘It’s very early, Amy. Can’t we meet at eight, or nine?’
‘No!’ From the way she says it, you’d have thought I’d suggested we all take up drowning kittens as a hobby. ‘I explained all of this in the group chat. We need to get there early for two reasons. One, to get the buffet at its freshest and best, before everyone else has poked and pawed at it. Two, so we can get the early treatment slots. It’s Ayurvedic massage at nine sharp today, if you remember. You’ll just have to throw some clothes on and come as you are. Lily and Dan are already down there. Chop chop. I’ll see you both in five.’ Without waiting for an answer, she grabs Stuart’s hand and marches off.
‘Is she always like that?’ I ask Robert as I hastily pull out a bra, T-shirt and shorts and head for the bathroom to get dressed. ‘It’s like being on holiday with the Duracell bunny.’
‘Yup,’ he calls after me.
‘I don’t remember signing up for an Ayurvedic massage,’ I call back. ‘I don’t even know what one of those is.’
‘She’ll have booked you on it and, if there’s one thing you need to know, it’s that saying “no” to Amy rarely ends well.’ There’s a pause before he calls out again. ‘I’ve just looked it up online. Ayurvedic massage is rooted in Ayurveda, an ancient Indian medicinal practice. Ayurvedic massage typically involves the application of warm, herb-infused oils to the body, witha focus on stimulating specific energy points called Marmas to help you keep your three Doshas balanced. Basically, it’s a massage with some nice-smelling stuff dressed up in a load of woo-woo.’
‘And are we all supposed to be doing this?’
‘God, no.’ Robert laughs. ‘This stuff is strictly ladies only.’
‘So what are you going to be doing while I’m having my Doshas balanced?’
‘According to Stuart, Amy expects us to go and work out in the gym.’
‘And will you?’
‘Absolutely not, but we’ll tell her we did, to keep her happy. We’d better hurry, Amy’s obsession with punctuality makes the Japanese railway system seem lackadaisical.’
‘Something of a niche reference, Robert,’ I tell him as I come out of the bathroom, tugging my T-shirt into place. I would have liked more time so I could have had a shower, as I’m feeling a bit gritty after travelling all day yesterday and getting so little sleep, but Amy’s tone made it very clear we were already in the doghouse. Having successfully reached a truce of sorts with Robert, the last thing I want is to start a new war with Amy.
‘Sorry,’ Robert says as he holds the bedroom door open for me. ‘It probably makes more sense to me because I spent a month working out there a few years ago. Japan’s railways transport over seventeen million people a day on over twelve thousand trains, but the average delay is less than a minute. Impressive, wouldn’t you agree?’
