“Hey!” Jay pretended to sound wounded as he hopped on the bed, making her body bounce. And very suddenly she was caged in his arms, his legs, his straining cock. “I thought we were doing… What did you say?”
“Mechanical physics?” Mara asked, her laughter dying down a bit. “With a bit of tongue technology?”
“We can absolutely do that.” Jay nodded, his fingers already skimming the band of her underwear.
She opened her legs for him, inviting him to touch her there. His hand was warm, the fingers rough and now familiar to her. Mara gasped and arched into the sensation, feeling his cock stir somewhere along her leg. Jay’s mouth pressed hot kisses on the exposed parts of her cleavage, moving down to her stomach. He looped a finger under the side of her panty. “May I?”
Mara could only nod, her body shivering as he slowly slid her underwear off, and she shuddered. Jay placed a hand on her arm, making her look up at him with hooded eyes.
“You okay?” he asked. Mara nodded and sat up to kiss him, reassuring him that she was fine, that she wanted this. Her, the girl who always followed the rules, who never had a hair wrong, who did what she was told. It made her feel beautiful and desired; it made her want him even more.
“My vagina is cold.” She snickered, because it was the only way she could describe the sensation of feeling this exposed. Jay chuckled and undid the button of his pants, keeping his briefs on.
“Lie back down,” he said before he pressed his hands down on the tops of her thighs and licked a strip up her labia, her hair tickling his nose.
“Oh!” Mara shouted, her hips arching up. “Oh mygod.”
“Oh my god, yes, or—”
“Oh my god, keep going.” She squirmed, twisting so she could see him at least. She could barely see anything but the top of his head between her legs, and god that was a sight she wasn’t going to forget anytime soon. “Please.”
He hummed a response, and spread her labia with his fingers before he flicked his tongue at her clit.
God, she thought she was sure that there were no further surprises to get with Jay without him entering her, and yet, here he was proving her wrong with a little flick of his tongue. She heard herself moan and gasp, her cheeks getting hotter and hotter as Jay pressed his tongue against her clit, as his other fingers curled against the spot where she was wettest.
“Fuck!” Mara groaned, her thighs tensing as the pleasure made her tighten and thrash. She realized she’d never done it like this—her arms weren’t long enough, and any other equipment she had didn’t feelthisgood. But it pressed a button she didn’t even realize she wanted pressed so repeatedly and thoroughly. “Jay. Oh god, Jay.”
She raised her legs, planting her feet on the bed. Dimly aware that she was thrusting fully at him, as her fingertips brushed over the top of his head. She could feel him moving against the bed, too, matching the rhythm of his one, two, three fingers inside her.
Jay sucked her clit.
Mara was an absolute goner, coming in a shout, in a burst of white like a fuse had exploded in her head. And with one final curl of his fingers came the last of her breath.
She collapsed into the bed, hand idly reaching for Jay. He was panting as he caged her in his arms. She kissed him lazily, letting him thrust his covered-up cock between her legs. His hand was still wet with her juices as he stuck it down his briefs.
Mara experimentally dug her fingernails into his reddened chest, flicking his nipples with her other hand, and he was coming, too, soaking the front of his briefs, a couple of drops on the bed. Jay collapsed next to her and dropped the laziest of kisses on her shoulder, his pants open, his shirt still on.
Mara had never felt so debauched in her life, and god help her, she liked it.
“You’re a terrible teacher.” She chuckled once her breath came back, letting him curl up against her, his arm around her stomach. “I don’t think I learned anything from that aside from, ‘Wow, I really liked that.’”
“That’s the point,” was all Jay said, his voice sounding sleepy and tired. “So you know you like it.” And the unsaid words hovered in the air around them. So you know you like it and tell someone else.
Mara closed her eyes so she could ignore them, but the night felt too full of silence, and she wanted to push it all away.
“Marina told me I’ve never been in a relationship because I was reverse manifesting it,” she told him, letting her words fill the room instead of the ones they refused to say out loud, casting them out. “But I think I just wasn’t brave enough to ask. When I was younger it was because I thought I wasn’t pretty enough or thin enough. Now I just… I don’t want to get hurt. I already have to live through so much without that risk.”
“Ah. Like shitty governments. Wars just outside our door,” Jay said. Just open up any feed and find ten things to ruin your day. Live in this country and experience how bad it could be. Live elsewhere and it was just as bad, but in different ways.
“Yeah.” Suddenly it didn’t sound so stupid. It was a hard world to live in. And she didn’t think she had the emotional capacity to stake her heart in more pain. “I already feel overwhelmed by life without someone else in the picture. Maybe I’m just weak.”
“You’re protecting your heart,” Jay reminded her. “You’re still letting people in. That’s a good sign.”
“Maybe I’m protecting it a bit too much,” Mara admitted. “It feels like such a privilege, being able to do that. To have a choice, even, of having anyone at all.”
“It is. They say admitting to a privilege is the first step in using it for better things.”
She sighed and let his words wash over her, feeling the weight of her confessions lift from her body and stay in the air.
