‘Do you have time if I grab us another one?’ Maya asked.
‘Sure, I’m not in a rush.’
I watched as she made her way through the café towards the counter. People automatically parted to make way for her and then turned back to watch her after she had gone past them. She had an aura. Heads swivelled in her direction when she entered a room. When you were in her company, it was like the sound was a little sharper, the colours a little brighter. All my life, I had been the shy, fat girl standing on the fringes of everything but since I had made friends with Maya, I had a feeling of belonging and self-assurance that I had always yearned for. Being in Maya’s company was intoxicating. When she was by my side, I wasn’t overthinking every move I made, or what I should do with my hands or what I should say ornotsay; it just felt easy. Being in her orbit gave me confidence.
Eventually, I saw her making her way towards me with a tray carrying our coffees.
‘I’m sorry for going on about Hugo so much but you’re the only one I can talk to about it all,’ she continued as she handed me my mug.
‘Don’t be sorry. I just wish I could do something to help; I hate seeing you so down.’
‘Thanks,’ she said sadly. Then she placed her hand over mine on the table. ‘Just being able to talk to you about it all is helping. Thank you for everything. You’ve been a rock over the last while. You’re the only person in my life who knows what I’m going through.’
I smiled at the unexpected affection. ‘I’m glad I can be there for you; it’s a tough situation.’ I wasn’t used to friends being so tactile but Maya was warm and open. She drew people to her; you wanted to be around her because she made you feel like a better version of yourself. Now that I knew our friendship wasn’t one-sided, I felt braver opening up to her. ‘I know we haven’t known one another for very long but I’ve never had a friend like you, Maya,’ I confessed. I had never been in the popular or the pretty gang. I had always been on the outside: one of the kids that nobody really noticed. In school, I had hung out with the odd kids who didn’t particularly have much in common but banded together because nobody else wanted us around so to find myself being chosen by beautiful and successful Maya was a new experience for me. Orbiting in her glow felt like basking in balmy sunlight.
‘I know, right?’ she agreed. ‘I feel like we just clicked ever since that first day we had coffee here.’ She squeezed my hand. ‘I’m so glad I met you, Liv.’
Warmth radiated through me. ‘I was telling Jay all about you and I really want him to meet you properly,’ I went on. ‘Why don’t you both come over for a BBQ at the weekend? The weather looks good and it’ll be nice to sit out in the garden for a change.’
‘I don’t know…’ she said uncertainly. ‘Honestly? With the way things are between Hugo and me right now, I don’t think we’d be the best company…’
‘Don’t be silly, we’d love to have you. The boys can play together and hopefully, they will get along a little better this time. It’ll also be a chance for Hugo and Jay to get to know one another.’
‘Hugo can be…’ She paused to choose the right word. ‘…tricky.’
‘Well, Jay will talk to anyone so don’t worry. And he’s an amazing cook,’ I added. ‘He does a really good steak with all the sides. Trust me, it’s divine.’
‘Well, okay, that’s me convinced.’ She pulled her cheeks back into a tight smile. ‘Thanks, Liv. That would be lovely.’ She beamed.
I clapped my hands together excitedly. ‘I can’t wait for you to meet Jay and I’m really looking forward to getting to know Hugo… It’s going to be so much fun!’
‘Let’s hope so,’ she muttered.
25
MAYA
When I got up on Saturday morning, my head was fuggy from the wine I had drunk the night before. I hadn’t touched wine since our session with Julia, although I dearly craved that feeling of relaxation – the sense of reward – that a glass of wine always gave me after Elliot had gone to bed, it proved that I didn’t have a problem with alcohol but I figured Friday night was fair game. I was still furious with how they both had targeted me. I waited until after Hugo had gone to bed because I didn’t need his judgement. As I sipped on the delicate notes of passionfruit and gooseberry, I finally managed to escape from the thoughts inside my head.
I thought about the invitation Liv had extended to us for the following evening which I still hadn’t mentioned to Hugo. Liv had been so enthusiastic inviting us over and I was keen to go – I enjoyed her company and although I had met Jay at the boys’ first day of school, I wanted to get to know him properly – but I knew Hugo could be a spanner in the works. He would probably try to make an excuse to get out of it or else do his usual trick of cancelling at the last minute, pretending he couldn’t make it, leaving me to go alone. The thought of broaching the subjectwith Hugo was making me anxious. I didn’t say it to Liv but from what I had heard about Jay, he and Hugo sounded like totally different people and I didn’t think they would have much in common. But then I reminded myself that appearances were deceptive; my friendship with Liv was testament to that. From the outside looking in, we were chalk and cheese and yet we got on so well so there was no reason our husbands couldn’t either. Maybe I was being unfair to Hugo.
I heard noise coming from downstairs and realised that Hugo must have got up with Elliot and allowed me to lie in. I went downstairs and saw them playing; they were building a fort out of the throws draped over the back of the sofa. I stood at the kitchen door, taking a moment to observe them. This was everything I wanted: just a normal family doing normal things.
‘This can be the base, Dad,’ Elliot was saying excitedly in his lispy voice. ‘And we can sleep in here.’
My heart softened at the sight of them playing together: Hugo getting caught up in stretching a blanket across the back of two chairs to make a roof. He adored Elliot and was a great dad.When he was there, another voice chimed in.
Hugo had thawed towards me since our session with Julia. Perhaps he was feeling guilty for how they had both ganged up on me, I thought wryly to myself. I had managed to quash down the horrible anxiety I felt every time I thought about the night of the launch and move on and although things were still strained between us, we were communicating when necessary. Usually whenever Elliot was around, we made an effort with one another; we were both united by the fact that neither of us wished our son to witness the tension between us.
‘Good morning,’ I said brightly. ‘This looks like fun.’
‘Mummy!’ Elliot ran over and hugged me. ‘Daddy and me builded the biggest fort and guess what?’
‘What?’
‘Daddy said I can even sleep in it tonight!’
‘Wow,’ I said. ‘It looks so cool.’ I turned to Hugo. ‘Thanks for getting up early with him.’ I was keen to butter him up before my next request.
