Rowan’s face hovered above mine, pinched with panic. He looked like a man unraveling.
“Hold on,” he commanded, voice strained. His hands framed my face, trembling. “If you want to know more about me, I’ll tell you everything. You just have to live first.”
“I’m trying.” I coughed. “It’s getting harder… to breathe.”
He gently shook me, and my eyes re-opened. I hadn’t even known they were closed. “Want to know my favorite color? It’s blue. Want to know my middle name? It’s Rowan. I hate my first name.”
His voice broke.
“I’ll tell you even more. Anything you want. Just please, Mavis. Stay strong. Fight.”
That was all I needed.
I don’t know how I stood—only that I did. On shaking legs, breath shallow, and eyes half-lidded. He helped me when I swayed, and didn’t comment on how much I leaned into him.
We made it as far as the armory.
Then, my knees buckled.
Rowan cradled me in his lap, his arms tight around me like they alone could keep me from fading.
“No, no, no,” he murmured. “You don’t get to give up. You’re not allowed.”
His voice cracked, raw and terrified. “I can get you to a real healer—someone outside this cursed place. Someone who can save you.”
Hot drops fell onto my cheeks.
He was crying.
I lifted my hand with great effort, fingertips brushing the tears trailing down his face.
I murmured weakly. “Your tears do nothing but muddy the Ground.”
Rowan barked a laugh, choked with grief. “That’s the worst line inThe Old Book. Fuck the idea of you dying, Mavis. I’m not ready to lose you.”
I wanted to respond. I wanted to tell him I was still here. But my mouth wouldn’t work. My body was betraying me.
Naia crouched down beside us, her hand finding mine. Her thumb made slow, rhythmic circles against my knuckles.
“Do not fear death. Death is a friend to life—they walk side by side. There is an end as surely as there is a begin—”
“Don’t you dare say those words! She’s not dying today!” Rowan spewed out, slapping Naia’s hand off mine. “We just need to get her to a healer.” His voice broke on those last words, and with it I heard his splintering conviction.
Renata’s protectiveness was evident as she positioned herself between Naia and Rowan. “Don’t snap at her like that! It’s not her fault you won’t accept the reality of the situation. Just look at her, Rowan!”
Rowan’s soft cries turned into gentle sobs.
“She’s all I have.”
Renata’s face softened, and she put her hand on Rowan’s shoulder. “You have us, Rowan. We are your family, too. Don’t you miss your freedom? Staying here and getting caught will have made Mavis’ death for nothing.”
“It can’t happen again,” he whispered.
Rowan looked at Renata and then shifted his gaze to me. I looked at him half-dazed. He took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his cheek.
“You see, Mavis, I lied to you. When we first met, you told me who you were, and I acted like you were a stranger. But I knew who you were. I knew who you were the moment I looked into those pale blue eyes. In those eyes, I saw a face I have tried time and time again to forget… I saw your brother.”
“Willam?” I choked.
