Rowan nodded.
“It was my first mission, and I had met your brother along the way. I was in a dark place during that time in my life, and Willam had been the first one to show me kindness in a long time. In return, I promised him I would look out for him. But I failed. He grew ill while on the road, and I couldn’t get him to a healer. He died quickly in the night and was buried by morning.”
“Sick?” I coughed.
“A fever took him. He burned up before I could find help. Please, understand. I’m so sorry I lied. I just didn’t want you to hate me more than you already did. After Willam died, I swore I would never get attached to another destined for the same fate again. But I failed at that, too—I became attached to you.
“I thought maybe I could redeem myself with you. That perhaps I could keep you safe until you got to the facility. Your fate would be tied to the program then, but I could at least get you here in one piece. My feelings for you are something I could never have predicted.”
I reached a shaky hand up and cupped the side of his face. He mirrored my action. My heart pounded unevenly in my chest. Tears burned at the edges of my eyes, not for pain, but from a deep, aching sorrow for the years of unanswered questions finally put to rest.
“I don’t hate you,” I croaked.
“Good, because I love you. I love you, Mavis Ashbone.” Rowan lowered his mouth to my ear and whispered. “I will love you ‘till the air leaves my lungs, ‘tillfire meets my bones and I’m all but dust and a memory. Should you perish before me, a part of me will follow. In this life, the next, and every other. I vow it.”
My breath caught painfully, his words hanging heavy in the space between us.Netali’s Vow. He had whispered words more sacred than any marriage oath without hesitation.
I knew what it meant. What it hadcost. His soul had just bound itself to mine. Beyond time. Beyond life. Wherever my soul went, a piece of his would follow—even into the afterlife. The part of his soul that remained amongst the living would never feel complete until it was reunited with mine once more.
A life of mourning.
I lacked the strength and courage to make the same promise.
Rowan, as though sensing my hesitation, softly brushed my snowy hair from my face, the warmth of his touch anchoring me to consciousness. A sad, understanding smile softened his features.
“Don’t say it back. Not yet.”
I shifted in Rowan’s arms, barely, my strength a thread unraveling. My vision was blurring again, the pressure in my chest growing heavier by the second.
“I tried,” I rasped. “I really did.”
Rowan held me tighter, as if he could stop time by sheer force of will. “Don’t say that. You’re not done yet. We’re so close.”
A soft smile curled on my lips. “It’s my time, Rowan.”
“No.” His voice broke, fractured at the edges. “No, it’s not.”
“I’m not scared,” I whispered. “Not anymore.”
My eyes found his through the haze. I memorized the lines of his face—the panic in his expression, the desperation swimming in his eyes. “You need to let me go.”
“There’s no fucking chance I’m doing that,” he said, choking on the words. “You’re staying alive, Mavis. I need you.”
His lips found mine, one last kiss—fierce, trembling, filled with everything he couldn’t say. My hand brushed against his chest, over the place where his heart beat furiously.
When we parted, I touched his cheek with the last of my strength.
“This…” I murmured, barely audible now, my hand weakly motioning between us, “…this was all real.”
And then, with a soft exhale, my eyes closed.
The stillness that followed was complete.
As if the world had paused.
And there it was—peace at last.
Chapter 52
