I already knew she could throw down in the kitchen because she constantly fixed me plates when she cooked. She pretty much had me spoiled and looking forward to what she cooked on his session days.
“Ms. Cole, are you married?”
I remembered that I hadn't put my ring back on. Hell, since I had been doing sessions with them, I had never worn one. So, I could see why she asked.
“I am…I mean, it’s complicated.”
“Marriage itself is complicated. I’m not going to be like the rest of the elders and tell you to stick anything out. Our marriages last so long because we took crap we had no business taking back in the day. I love my husband with all my heart and can’t see myself being with anyone else. Was he perfect? Heck no! Always remember this advice from me. And this is the same advice I give my girls: do what makes you happy. If you’re unhappy, it shows all over you. It bleeds out on others. You’re too pretty and young to be unhappy, so if you like complicated, stick it out. If you don’t, leave.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ll see you in two weeks, dear.”
Her comments were weighing heavy on me as I pulled up and parked at Lonni’s. Not seeing any of Jah’s cars there was disheartening but not surprising. He was avoiding me again. I grabbed my bags and the cake because there was no way I could eat a whole pound cake by myself. The twins could have some as a celebration for finishing therapy.
“Hey, come in. I just got them settled for you.” Lonni stepped aside to let me in.
“Here, I thought maybe they could have a piece of cake since this is our last session.”
“Oh, Jah didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“He wanted to extend their services for at least another month.”
I looked at Lonni, and she already knew he hadn't told me anything.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. He’s been spacey lately.”
“It’s okay, I’m going to discharge them, and if he wants services added back, he’ll have to contact my office and get them set up.”
“Are y’all okay?”
“What do you mean?” I placed my bags down.
“I mean, y’all just got back yesterday and I haven’t seen him. He’s called and checked on us. Told me he was going to extend the services and that’s it.”
“You know?”
“Of course I know it’s you. How long did you think y’all could hide it? I found out the day he damn near knocked the table over at the pancake house to get over to your table.”
“I’m sorry,” I dropped my head. “I don’t usually do anything like this. It just messes up the client-therapist relationship.”
“Girl, please! My brother is in love. You haven’t messed up anything. My brother has always been the provider and protector of our family. Even when my mom and sister were alive. He’s always been the one to put everyone on his back. He’s at the point in his life where he’s now protecting himself, and I don’t blame him. I’m sure y’all will figure it out, though,” she said before walking away.
I don’t even remember what I did during the twins' final session. All I could think about was going home and hiding for the rest of the day. I let Lonni sign off on their discharge and I rushed home to soak and drink some wine. Still no call or text from Jah. Who had been calling and texting all day was Kileen. After I didn’t answer, he showed up with flowers and dinner. Once he seen that I wasn’t in the mood for company, he ended up leaving. Twenty-four hours without talking to Jah was giving me all the clarification I needed on why he really took me on that trip.
FIFTEEN
TATIYONNA
Song: J. Howell- My Everything (live)
Over a month had gone by,the flowers were still coming in, and the deposits for lunch and dinner were still coming. The text has stopped because I blocked Jah. I had already completed my marriage counseling sessions with Kileen, and he was waiting for my final answer if we were going to reconcile. My heart just needed to see where Jah’s head was at. So, I got dressed and headed to his house. All my calls and texts had gone ignored. I pulled up and sat in my car for a minute, trying to get my thoughts together. His door popped open, and he stood there just staring at me before he walked off, leaving the door open.
“Why are you ignoring me?” I went in as soon as I closed the door behind me.
“I told you, I don’t argue, so come in with a different attitude,” he calmly said.
