Oh dear God, what goes on in that locker room?
Okay.
Stay calm.
Do not laugh.
BLAKELY! Do not freaking laugh right now.
He’s clearly distraught. This is a moment for him, and you need to be a supportive friend.
DO NOT LAUGH!
“Do they now?” I ask, my smile not holding back. “What are your thoughts on the idea?”
“I have none.”
“Well, not to throw you off, but it seems like you do have some if you’re not yourself at the moment. Are you considering it?”
He lets out a sigh and shifts again. “Sure,” he says, almost as if he’s giving up.
“Sure you’re considering it? Do you know what kind of penis piercing you want?”
He rubs his hand over his thigh again, avoiding all eye contact with me as I drive us back to the apartment. “No, not really.”
“Is there a reason you want one? Is it more for pleasure for others or is it like a decorative thing for you? Like . . . hanging up ornaments on the Christmas tree?”
“What? Uh, no.” He shakes his head. “I mean . . . not decorative.”
“So pleasure then. I have heard that having sex with a man who is pierced is a whole new experience. Is that what you want to offer to the ladies?”
“Fucking hell,” he mutters. “I, uh . . . sure, I guess.”
My cheeks flush from the thought. “Well . . . that could be . . . fun. Women like to be pleasured.”
“They do.” He nods, then as if he thinks of something really quick, he says, “I pleasure them just fine. Like, I don’t need this piercing to give them a better time, if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t need the piercing like another guy might need it. I’m perfectly capable in that regard.”
I’d assume he is from the bulge I’ve seen.
He drags his hand over his face. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m good at sex, and I don’t mean that in a narcissistic way.”
“I’m not thinking that. It’s nice to have confidence in your sexual capabilities. Glad to hear you can rock a girl’s world.” I pat him on the shoulder. “Well done.”
“It’s just, I don’t want you thinking I need this piercing for anything other than just . . . wanting one, I guess.”
No, Halsey, I never would have guessed that you’re the type of guy who’d want to strap his dick down and get it pierced.I wouldn’t even think a tattoo would be of interest. That’s how bland of a man I consider him.
“Well, if you’re into that kind of pain, it might be great for you. A real step forward. Let me ask, do you like penis pain, Halsey?”
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters as he turns his attention back to the window.
“Well . . .” I push.
“You know, forget I even said anything.”
Probably for the best.
HALSEY
