Christ.
Maybe if I turn toward her, I could slip my leg under hers. Then again, not sure I could fit on this chair sideways since I barely fit on it normally. Might not be a good idea.
I take a deep breath, trying to cleanse out the pain and focus on something else, but fuck, it’s not working.
It’s excruciating.
Throbbing pain centralizes in my kneecap, creating such a tornado of cramps up my legs that a sheen of sweat breaks out on my lower back.
I roll my teeth over my bottom lip, tilt my head down, squeeze my eyes shut as I can’t take it, and push my leg with Bow Girl on it forward one more centimeter. This time, the girl notices and looks up at me, a sneer in her eye.
“Don’t push me!” she shouts to my horror.
Lilly falls silent as she glances over at me. And then every single pair of eyes in the room fall on me.
Uh . . .
I tack on a smile as a bead of sweat rolls down my temple. “I, uh, I wasn’t pushing you,” I say.
“Yes, you were. Your foot is on my butt.”
“What?” I ask, eyes wide. “No, it’s not.” I glance up at the press. “My foot isn’t on her—ahhh ffffffffuuuuu . . .”
My mouth closes shut as my entire leg cramps up in one massive charley horse. My body separates from my brain, my muscles taking on a mind of their own.
I can’t stop myself from what happens next.
My thigh involuntarily contracts, fueled by the pain, and propels my shin and foot forward at Mach speed, and before I can even shout a fair warning, my leg stretches out in front of me, knocking Bow Girl right over onto the lap of another boy.
“Ahhh! He kicked me!” she screams. “The big man kicked me.”
I have no response as I mutter, “Fucking hell,” right before crumpling forward like a giant falling from the beanstalk, right to the floor, toppling over children in front of me.
“Hey, get off me,” shouts the boy Bow Girl landed on. “I don’t want you on me.”
“Ew, his shoe is on me.”
“Ahh, he’s touching me.”
“I’m being squished.”
“Why is the big man dead?”
“Oh dear,” the teacher says just as my vision turns fuzzy.
“Ew, look, his underwear is showing!”
What? And that’s when a breeze blows by my ass.
Children scream.
Cameras click.
Lilly places the children’s book on top of my ass while my hand clenches my thigh. I am writhing in pain.
This could not have gone more wrong.
* * *
