“Okay,” I say. “Thank you.” I offer them a soft smile and then walk back into the living room where I take a seat next to Keller.
When he feels my presence, he says, “Come here.” He holds out his hand, and I slip my palm against him. “Lie on me, love.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not. Please, I just want to feel you.”
Knowing this is what he wants, what he needs, I position myself on top of his large body and rest my head on his chest. The moment I’m settled, he relaxes into the couch as his arm goes around me.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Better now,” he answers.
And that’s how we stay for the rest of the afternoon, me on top of him, him holding on to me like a lifeline. I wish it meant that I felt calmer, but if anything, with so many unknowns in the air, stress is still my friend. At least I’m no longer alone.
ChapterThirty-Five
KELLER
“Lilly,” I say softly. “You don’t need to feed me.”
Lilly holds a bowl of soup in one hand and a spoon in the other. She hasn’t left my side since I pulled her on top of me. She’s remained quiet, she’s kissed my chest every so often, and she’s helped me drink my water. The only time she’s gotten up is to go to the bathroom or to help me to the bathroom.
Now that the migraine has eased up enough that I feel like I can breathe without pain, I’m sitting up on the couch, attempting to settle my stomach with food. Well . . . Lilly is.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” she replies.
“Well, I do,” I say. “Have you eaten anything besides breakfast?”
“I haven’t been hungry,” she answers as she dips the spoon in the soup.
I take the bowl from her, drop the spoon in the soup, and then set it on the coffee table in front of us. I turn toward her and say, “I need you to take care of yourself as well. That means eating.”
She straddles my lap and smooths her hand over my chest as she says, “I’ve been worried sick, Keller. My appetite isn’t there.”
“Doesn’t matter, you still need to eat,” I reply as I place my hands on her thighs.
Lara and Ottar are in the kitchen, which is where Lilly’s eyes fall to before she turns back to me. “Ottar said Runa and the doctor won’t be here until tomorrow. I’m worried about you, okay? It’s turned my stomach upside down and I . . .”—her lip trembles and she takes a deep breath—“I can’t lose you again, Keller.”
“You’re not going to lose me, Lilly,” I say as I cup her cheek. Her velvety skin leans into my palm, and she closes her eyes. “It’s going to take me a while to get better from what I went through. I’m sure the doctor will be able to help that.”
When I learned there was a doctor headed to Harrogate with Runa, I wasn’t too happy. I was worried about the safety and word getting out, but Ottar assured me Runa was taking every precaution and wasn’t letting on to what she was doing. And she would meet up with the doctor at an undisclosed location. He also stated that the doctor suggested to come tomorrow, as to not tip anyone off.
It still creates concern for me, especially since we aren’t any closer to catching who’s behind this.
But I have to agree with Lilly about her concerns. I’m concerned as well. I’m not sure how many times I was hit in the head when I was in the Arkham cell, but what I do know is that these migraines aren’t normal. They come on so quickly and take me out within seconds. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
“I just need you to get better,” Lilly says.
“I know, love. But I need you to stay healthy for me as well. So will you go get some soup, and we can eat on the couch together?”
She nods, and before she gets off my lap, she leans forward and presses a soft kiss to my lips. She then rests her forehead against mine and says, “I love you, Keller.”
“I love you, too,” I say and then press one more kiss to her lips.
She stands and then hands me my soup. “I’ll be right back.”
After she heads into the kitchen, I bring the soup spoon up to my mouth and take a mouthful, exhaustion hitting me again. I seem to be going in these spurts, where my adrenaline picks up, I’m able to accomplish what I need to do, but then I crash, and I crash hard. I know I’m not where I need to be physically and mentally—I’m pretty shot—which is why I’m so fucking grateful to be here in Harrogate with Ottar and Lara. If I have to put my trust in anyone to keep us safe, it’s them.
