I flick my pen onto my journal and lean back in my chair. “Like absolute piss,” I answer.
“Well, you don’t look any better.”
I bring my hand to my cheek, feeling my bruise. “Yeah, I’m sure.” I blow out a heavy breath. “Fuck, Lara, what was I thinking?”
“That’s the problem, Keller. You’ve been doing too much thinking. You’ve been trying to overanalyze everything when you should’ve just been living your life without worrying about what others would think or what your parents said. I know you love them dearly, and you would do anything to honor them, but you need to realize their way of thinking was old school.”
“I know.” I pinch my brow. “I fucked everything up, Lara.” I pause and then ask, “Wait, how are you doing? Have you spoken to Brimar?” I hate that I will have to tell her what else he’s been doing. Breaking her trust as a security officer is one thing. But his betrayal of their relationship is dreadful.Unexpected.
She shakes her head. “No, and I have no plans of speaking with him. He’s been fucking cheating on me, Keller. I was talking to Runa, and she told me that he’s been seeing her cousin’s friend on the side.”
“I just found out yesterday morning when I confronted him. I’m so sorry he did this to you, Lara.”
She sighs heavily. “I just feel so wronged. I loved him. Gave him my all. I thought... I thought we were in this life together, and he double-crosses both of us.”
“It’s fucked up.”
“I wonder if he did what he did to you because he knew you would probably find out about the cheating and wanted to hurt you before you hurt him?”
I pause and give it some thought. “You know, it’s a good possibility. Especially since everything was reported to me. Either way, he’s not the man we thought he was, and I want to ensure you’re okay.”
“He’s been distancing himself lately. When we were at Harrogate, we got into a few fights, and I even slept on the couch a few nights. I never said anything because I didn’t want our relationship woes to be a distraction from the training, but that was one of the reasons he was so adamant about leaving.”
“Shit, that makes sense,” I say. “You should’ve said something to me. I would’ve switched out security.”
She shakes her head. “No, being at Harrogate, getting the opportunity to protect and train with Lilly, was a great honor, and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity because of a lovers’ quarrel. I thought if I could just hang on with Brimar, and get back to Strombly, then maybe we could work things out, but that wasn’t the case. And even though I’m heartbroken over it, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know how much of a burden our relationship has been lately.”
“I wish you would’ve talked to me about it. I could’ve done more to involve you, so you weren’t spending so much time with him.”
“But then you wouldn’t have been able to spend that much time with Lilly, and you needed that. You needed her. She brought something out of you that I hadn’t seen in many years, a genuine smile. She truly makes you happy.”
“She does,” I answer. “And now... hell, now I’m not even allowed in the palace or even near her, for that matter, to make it up to her. To tell her what a fool I was, to show her that I love her, more than anything, and that I would do anything to earn her trust again.”
“How would you even go about earning her trust back if you were allowed in Strombly?”
“Probably show her by small acts.”
“Well, that could still be accomplished,” Lara says.
“How?”
“You have Runa and me. Although Runa is not entirely happy with you. She mentioned how upset Lilly was over your foolish mistakes, and she hates seeing Lilly upset. I think with the proper coaxing, we could get her involved.”
“You think so?” I ask.
“With a big apology, I think so. But the question is, what would your small acts be?”
“Court her from a distance.”
“I like the sound of that. So, does that mean you’ll try to win her back?”
“Until my dying day, I will fucking try because I won’t be whole without her.”
Lara smirks. “Seems as if we have some planning to do, then.”
ChapterTwenty-Five
LILLY
