“Are you feeling better?” Runa asks as she hands me a cup of water.
“Sort of,” I answer, my head still pounding, my eyes still puffy, my heart very heavy. “I think... I think I can start getting ready for the luncheon.”
Runa adjusts my blankets, so they sit better on my lap. “No need, Miss Campbell. Queen Katla has called in your absence and said you came down with a cold.”
“What? She didn’t have to do that. I can get it together.” I take a deep breath, my eyes watering up again. “I just... need a second.” Another tear cascades down my cheek, and I curse myself for being unable to control my emotions. “God, I’m sorry. I really can do this.”
Runa gently rests her hand on my shoulder as she says, “Please don’t try to stifle your feelings in front of me; it will only make it worse. You might not be comfortable talking to me, but it might help. Holding it all inside isn’t healthy for the body or the mind.”
“I know you’re right,” I say as I lean back on my pillows.
Since I woke up this morning, I’ve been crying. Poor Runa has had to bring me a box of tissues and tend to me while I attempt to get it together. Spoiler alert, I haven’t gotten it together.
I let out a pent-up breath and ask, “Have you ever been in love, Runa?”
“Yes, Miss Campbell. While going through training, I fell in love with a boy named Ergo. He was, well, he was my everything. He was training to be a footman. It was easy to fall for his charm and his looks, but what mattered most was that we bonded at the heart.”
“What happened?”
“When we graduated, he was offered a position in another country, while I was hired to work here, at Strombly. Even though our love for each other was quite strong, our dedication to serving was stronger.”
“Have you heard from him?”
“I have. He’s married now with a boy on the way.” She takes a deep breath. “It was devastating to hear he found someone else.”
“Oh my God, Runa, I’m so sorry.”
“No need to apologize. That’s love, right? It’s life’s greatest challenge. Sometimes you get to live and love, and sometimes you must love and forget.” She looks me in the eyes. “Are you telling me you’re in love with Keller?”
I nod slowly. “Yes, and I’ve never truly been in love like this before. Like I depend on him to bring joy to my life. I never depended on anyone before, as I’ve always been so independent, but we connected on a deeper level at Harrogate. A level so deep I think only a few people would understand. In a time where I was so lost, he was a lifeline, my safety net... my hero. And I know that sounds corny, but it’s true. I feel like he opened my eyes to a whole new world. He showed me that I didn’t have to walk through this life alone, and then... and then he just left me out to dry. He abandoned me when I needed him the most. I—” My tears fall once again. “I don’t know how to handle that.”
“Ah, I see. I understand the feeling of loss. It’s painful. It feels like you can’t breathe at times.”
“Yes. Especially after all the promises we made to each other.” I take the tissue she hands me and dab at my eyes. “I hate that he’s affecting me this much, but this whole experience has been with him. I feel... empty.”
“That’s very understandable. I’m not sure I’d be as strong as you.”
“What are you talking about? I’m missing a luncheon because of a broken heart. That’s not being strong.”
“Ah, but you’re talking about your feelings. You’re wading through them, trying to make sense of it all. If I were in your shoes, I’m not sure I’d be sticking around in this new country, where my biggest advocate just broke my heart. I’d probably flee to my comfort home.”
I shake my head. “I’d never do that. I made a promise to King Theo and Queen Katla and to this country. This is where I belong.”
Runa smiles softly as she takes my hand in hers. “You know, Miss Campbell, we have a lot in common. There might be different DNA running through our veins, but our desire to serve others is a bond I take very seriously.” She pats my hand. “Now, rest up, cry, be sad, have a moment. I’ll bring eye patches to clear the puffiness. Make sure you have plenty of water, and if there’s anything I can get you, please, feel free to ask for it.”
“I’m not very hungry, but whenever I was sad, my mom always brought me a donut.”
“Consider it done.” Runa stands from the bed and then hands me my phone from her pocket. “This was buzzing while you were napping. I took it away so it wouldn’t disturb you.”
“Oh. Thanks.” I take the phone from her, and when she walks out the bedroom door, I glance down at the screen, hoping to see a message from Keller. But when I see a text from Timmy, my heart sinks all over again.
Timmy:How are things? I read some articles about the welcoming parade. Baby girl, you looked breathtaking. I can’t believe this is your real life. When can I come and visit?
Even though I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest, I text my friend back.
Lilly:Please visit whenever you can. I could use a friend.
Lucky for me, he texts back right away.
