Eli:Did you just text me to goad me? Or was there a reason for these texts?
Penny:Checking on your eye. Remember, I was nice at first.
Eli:So this is more like a toxic friendship then. Luring me in with sweetness only to gaslight me after.
Penny:If you think some innocent teasing is gaslighting, then I don’t think we can be friends.
Eli:Now I feel like you’re extorting me.
Penny:Do you even know what these terms mean?
Eli:Generally.
Penny:Glad your eye’s okay. Good game out there. I’m going to bed.
Eli:Night, Penny.
* * *
Eli:You got my shoes dry-cleaned? Seriously?
Penny:I felt like it was the right thing to do.
Eli:I didn’t even know you could do that.
Penny:Trust me when I say I did a lot of research and found a place in Vancouver that was pretty confident they could restore them to their natural state. They did say the shoe that didn’t have puke in it was more smelly from foot contact. They asked about athlete’s foot.
Eli:I’m sure they did. *insert eye roll* But thank you. You didn’t have to do that.
Penny:I felt like I owed it to the fans. I thought about making a TikTok on how they’ve been found and returned to your feet, but I’m not sure if it’s too much.
Eli:I’m more than happy to have you slip them on my feet like Cinderella if that’s what you want to do.
Penny:That seems like something Posey would enjoy, not you.
Eli:He’s rubbing off on me.
Penny:I can see that.
Eli:We come home tonight. Are you excited to see me?
Penny:Eh.
Eli:Come on, there has to be at least a shred of excitement.
Penny:I’ve had my place to myself, my bed to myself, and I’ve been able to do whatever I want without your judgmental eye looking in on me. Does it sound like I’m excited to have you home?
Eli:Positively riveted. Maybe this will change your mind: I got something for you.
Penny:For me? Like a present?
Eli:Yes, that’s usually what it’s called when someone gets you something.
Penny:Why?
Eli:Lol. Because I saw it and thought of you. Are you going to be mad about that?
Penny:Not at all . . . God, why am I feeling emotional right now? I hate these stupid hormones.
