Eli:Haven’t shaved on this away trip. For an avid hockey fan, you think you’d know that’s tradition for the last away trip before the season ends.
Penny:I never paid that much attention to you.
Eli:Ouch.
Penny:LOL. It’s true. Sorry.
Eli:Well, for future reference, every last road trip, I don’t shave until we get back.
Penny:Does that include your arms and legs as well?
Eli:I don’t ever shave those.
Penny:Huh, okay.
Eli:I’m not falling for it, Penny. Not this time. You trying to trick me into whatever is scheming in your head.
Penny:I’m not scheming anything. I have better things to do with my life, like grow a child, than try to trick you. Honestly, Eli. Oh, which reminds me, I got a phone call from the doctor’s office. They asked about the microchip and if we want to put one in the baby when it’s born.
Eli:Microchip. Like what they put in dogs?
Penny:Yes, exactly. I told him I’d talk it over with the baby’s father and come back with an answer. I think it might be a good idea.
Eli:Wait, this is a real thing? They really put tracking devices in kids?
Penny:Yes, but don’t worry, after ten years, they dissolve. So it’s not like we’re still tracking him when he’s twenty. It’s just so we can make sure we know where they are when they’re young. Especially toddler age. They get into everything at that age.
Eli:It dissolves? I haven’t read anything about this.
Penny:Want me to send you the website with all the information you might need?
Eli:Yeah, that would be great. If I’m going to make an executive decision about this, I’ll need all the information. And you’re leaning toward yes?
Penny:Seems like a great idea. It works for dogs. Why not for babies too?
Eli:Just seems weird, you know? Does the tracker come with an app?
Penny:The more expensive one does. And the app also tells you when the baby is about to pee and when it is going to poop within ten minutes. Very accurate so you can prepare yourself for what’s to come. And then the obvious sleeping stuff, which is nice. But that one’s $2,000. Seems pricey.
Eli:It predicts poop? That might be nice, actually. And money is not a thing so don’t worry about that. I still want to look at the information, but it all seems like it could be good.
Penny:Not a problem. Here is the website: ICan’tBelieveYouFellForThat.com
Eli:I. HATE. YOU.
Penny:HAHAHAHAHA DYING! Oh my God, did you seriously think that was a thing?
Eli:You know, it’s not nice to fuck with me. I’m a sensitive guy. I could cry. Is that what you want? For me to cry?
Penny:You and I both know that would never happen.
Eli:You don’t know that. I could be crying right now.
Penny:Send me a picture. I want to see your tears.
Eli:Who’s the sociopath now?
Penny:Hahaha.
