Yes? I mean, yes, of course it was. But still…
"It's just so abrupt. What if he's having the procedure because he's having sex with someone else and he doesn't want any accidents?"
My mum was now looking at me as if I spoke another language. Her expression was gentle, with an undercurrent of amusement. "Oh, sweetheart. I seriously doubt that. You said this change happened overnight?"
"Yes. Right after our dinner."
She nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, so maybe the Valentine's dinner was his wake-up call. Maybe he was so ashamed of his behaviour that he's wised up and decided to act right."
"Or he's cheating on me."
Mum sighed before placing her tea on the coffee table. "The last time I was over, he did seem eager to please."
"See!"
She shook her head. "That doesn't mean he's cheating, honey. It's such a big leap of an assumption to make." She took in my pale face and pinched features before her eyes softened. "Look, this is what you wanted, right? Or are you still thinking…"
"No." I shook my head before stopping. "Well, notno. I absolutely would have left him eventually. Once I had a plan in place."
"And now?"
I ran a finger around the rim of my mug, my thoughts discombobulated as I ran through my feelings at this moment. "I mean, I still love him."
"And I still loved your father when I left him," Mum added. "Not anymore, of course. But I just knew I deserved better, and you and your brother both deserved the best version of me. I didn't give up when things first went sideways. I tried so hard, and I would've given anything to have your dad be a better husband, a better father."
Mum got up and came to sit down next to me. Her soothing touch squeezed my knee as she offered comfort that only a loving mother could give. "As much as I'm disappointed in James for his actions, I truly do not think he's like your dad. And the fact that he's making what I hope is a sincere effort is proof enough."
"But what if it's temporary? What if I relax and then he does it again? Starts slipping back to his old ways."
She curved her arm around my shoulders, and I sank into her embrace. "There's only one way to find out," she said. "You need to talk to your husband."
***
James
I was metaphorically shitting myself. Zara had been gone for almost three hours, and each minute spiked an elevating fear within me.
Why had she looked like she'd been on the verge of tears? Why was her face pale, and why could she barely look me in the eyes? What was it that she needed to discuss with Bronwyn?
If I hadn't overheard their conversation all those weeks ago, I wouldn't have noticed any difference in her demeanour. I would've waved her off without glancing up, happy as a clam and totally oblivious to the fact that Zara was quite possibly working out how to leave me.
A million and one thoughts crossed my mind, all of them more terrible than the other. Thank God I had Sienna with me. She was a welcome distraction. I attempted to focus on our colouring activity, on our fun little dance battle, and on playing with her outside on the swings when there was a break in the weather. But none of those distractions helped to soothe the ache in my belly and the knot in my throat.
When Zara finally came home, a storm of relief flooded me.
I instantly rose to greet her. "Hi. Is everything okay with your mum?" I hoped she couldn't hear the quiet panic in my voice.
She startled before looking around for Sienna. "Um. Yes. Mum's fine." My heart sank as I watched her retreat upstairs without another word.
I glanced at Sienna. She was busy colouring and watching one of her shows on her tablet. She had a plate of crackers and her water bottle beside her. "I'll be right back, sweetheart."
"Okay, Daddy!"
The door to our bedroom was closed, which didn't help my anxiety. I tentatively pushed it open, scared that I would find my wife packing her bags.
But what I found seemed worse than finding her stuffing clothes in her luggage. Zara was simply sitting on the bed, staring into space.
"Hey." I slowly greeted. I quietly approached her, my eyes eating up her still-pale features.
