“I bet she appreciates the time with you.”
“Hey,” he said, walking over to stand in front of her. Her eyes lifted to his and their stare held for a few seconds. “Don’t take that statement for anything more than the answer to your question. I’m not going anywhere.”
She gave a small nod and said nothing. Words didn’t matter now. His actions would either prove him right or prove her heart wrong.
33
MY EGO
Arik didn’t know what more he could do.
Natalie ran hot and cold.
She gave just enough for him to hope, then pulled back far more for him to worry.
If his heart weren’t so invested he’d walk away.
In the past, that was his go-to.
His present and his future dictated that he hold firm.
“How is your app going?” she asked.
Typical of her to change the subject.
He’d lean in, searching for more than what she offered on the surface, but she always backed away, as if depth came with too high a cost.
He wouldn’t let his frustration show. Maybe he needed to keep proving he wasn’t a gypsy on the run anymore.
“It’s going well. I hope to have some people testing what I’ve got soon.”
“How do you find people to do that?”
“Online. Maybe another week. I’m telling myself not to make it perfect, just make it work.”
“Is that how you’ve always operated?”
And this was where he could open up and see if she did the same.
“No. In the past, when it mattered, when my teeth were sunk into something, that is how I felt. Sunk. Every waking moment and most of my sleeping hours were spent focused on what my next step would be. There weren’t a lot of breaks, just mounting pressure. Make it presentable. Make it perfect. Then get it sold. I drilled that motto into my head and it worked.”
There was no hiding her wince of sympathy. “That doesn’t sound healthy.”
“It wasn’t. But you see the finish line and what it could be. Not just the product, but the payout. The first time was an adrenaline rush. The second was my ego. My ego landed me in a not so good place when it was done.”
While he got the sauce up to temperature, he cut the lobster tails into chunks and turned the water on for the pasta. It wouldn’t take long for it all to cook and create flavors.
“You talked about being sick before. Is that what you mean? Or was there more to it?”
“I worked myself ill to get those nine figures. I told myself when it was done, I wouldn’t do it again. I could step back and take the time to figure out my future. That was years ago.” He let out a not so funny laugh. “I haven’t figured out much other than I don’t want to leave you.”
She blinked slowly, the silence stretching between them like spider legs crawling up his spine. Delicate, unsettling, and impossible to ignore.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you asked and it needs to be said. This thing we’ve got. I’m not looking for any kind of an ending that takes me off this island. I know you’re fearful of it. It radiates off your body daily. You hide it, and hide it well, until I can wiggle pieces out,but they build back each time you leave for me to start all over again.”
Her shoulders dropped, her eyes with it. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like shit over this.
