Ethan’s lips almost curled up in a smile, but he stopped it in time. He could only find humor because heknewthat eventually all would be well between Ceann and Ella. But the idiot didn’t have to kiss herthathard.He sighed.“That stubborn, ill-tempered, son of a… Are you alright?” he asked as he looked her over.“Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“No.” She shook her head as her breath hitched on the word. “Ethan, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t tell him who I am; I made a vow. I was sent… I came here for… certain reasons… but I never wanted to hurt Ceann. I never would…”
“It’s alright Ella.” He reached up to smooth her hair. “I know. I know everything. You’ve done well; you’ve done everything that was expected of you, and much more.”
Her eyes flew to his face. “You knowwhat?”
“I know who you are, and I know why you’re here.” He sighed. “Believe it or not, I’ve been trying to help matters along, but that swine-headed lout…”
“You know who I am, really?” A spark of hope burned in her chest. But her mind was still too numbed to wonderhowhe knew. Tears began to flow again down her cheeks.
“Aye, walk with me Ella. My mother’s cottage is not far. You can rest there until things are worked out. I promise I will keep you safe and cared for, for as long as needs be.”
***
Ceann rode out on Fallon and stayed away for several days, wanting only to be alone, taking to the forest and the moors to nurse his anguish and rage. It felt like hisgoddamn hearthad been ripped from his chest. This was pain worse than any he had ever felt in battle, it went to his very soul, if he even had a soul left to him.How could he have trusted her?Och! Damn it all to hell! He had been such a fool to believe in happiness, to think they had any kind of future together.Happiness was not for him. Ella was not for him. He was destined to be alone, and he had been mad to think for even a moment it could be any other way. She would never love him.Why, then, did he want so badly to go after her? Why did he want nothing but to take her in his arms and beg her to stay with him, despite all his faults, and despite the fact she had apparently played him for a fool, just as he had feared all along? Being with her had felt soright.She was so absolutely perfect, or so he had thought. And when he made love to her… he had never felt anything so powerful and all-consuming before, and knew for certain he never would again. But he had his pride, and his honor, and duty to his people, all of which he must hold above desire; above his apparentweakness for one woman. He had been blind, he had taken a chance, and he was paying for his recklessness now.
She was gone.She was probably back where ever she had come from by now. She surely had a man waiting for her there; a woman as beautiful as she would never be alone for long… he stopped short and threw his fist into a hapless oak. His barely healed knuckles split open and bled again. The thought of Ella with another man… he wanted tokillthe bastard! He hit the tree twice more with the other fist for good measure, before he was able to gather his wits about him enough to start home, cursing and sucking on his bloodied knuckles, leading his nervously prancing horse by the reins.
He was barely inside the castle walls when he was intercepted by Gregor. “Milaird! Where have you been? I’ve important news!”
“Not now, Gregor, I’m busy”, Ceann growled. He didn’t want to see anyone. Didn’t want to talk to anyone. Mostly, he just wanted to curl up somewhere and die.
Gregor persisted despite his foul mood, lengthening his strides to keep up. “But it’s important; it’s about the messenger that was here a few days past. The one with the message for Lady Ella.”
Ceann stopped short and turned to glare at Gregor, who was looking at him strangely. He realized he must look like hell, but he didn’t care. “What about him?” he growled.
“When he ran off, I followed him, at a distance. At first he went north, but after a while he turned to the east and doubled back. Straight to Rossmoor.”
“Rossmoor?”Ceann stared at him, his grief-dulled mind trying to grasp the significance, if any. “Why would the messenger go to Rossmoor?” He pulled his hands through his hair impatiently; he didn’t want to have to think.
Gregor looked at him as if he were daft. “Because your uncle was the one who sent the message, of course! He knew you would intercept it. He’s obviously trying to turn you against the lass.”
Ceann felt his knees weaken a little. But no, that didn’t make any sense, why would his uncle care anything about Ella? He’d already told him she was nothing to him.Nothing.
“I’ll think on it later”, he mumbled, turning to climb the stairs.
Ceann walked reluctantly through the castle doors. If anything, things were worse now than ever before. He had had a taste of how sweet life could be, and now the memory of it would haunt him forever. But he had been strong, and had done what was right for everyone; he would have only that to hold onto. He would throw himself back into his duties as Laird. Maybe he would even take a lemen… but that thought only disgusted him, he didn’t want any other woman but Ella.Damn!She had ruined him, body and soul.
He had just climbed the stairs and trudged into his chamber when he heard Maggie’s frantic voice behind him. He sighed loudly and swore repeatedly under his breath, feeling utterly defeated. Maggie had adored Ella. She was not going to take kindly to the news he had sent her away, and he was not in the mood to deal with the woman’s hysterics. Not when his whole world felt like it was coming apart at the seams.
“Ceann!Ceann, Ella’s missing. She’s been gone for days! We had hoped maybe she had gone with you, but the guards said you came back alone... do you know where she might be?We have to find her!”
When Ceann said nothing, did not even turn around, she ran to him, desperately grabbing his arms, “Why are you just standing there? I told you, Ella is missing, she could be somewhere hurt…”
Ceann put Maggie firmly away from him, his eyes distant as he spoke. “No Maggie, she’s not missing.I’ve sent her away. I told her to return to her home.She’s not who you think she is. It’s for the best… I…”
He was stopped short by the woman’s horrified gasp and the sudden tears that welled in her eyes, rolling accusingly down her round rosy cheeks. Her hand flew to her mouth as if to stifle a scream.When finally she could speak she looked at him as if he were the devil himself.“How could you send her away? Why would you do such a thing? Why, shelovesyou, anyone can see that.”
Ceann sighed; his own hurt was too raw. He just wanted to be alone with a flask of whiskey to nurse his wounds for a few more days. Orperhaps longer. Having Ella’s love would have been his dream come true, but that dream was dead now. “Maggie”, he said, as gently as he could manage. “I know you’ve come to care for the lass, but you should know, she deceived us all.”
Maggie looked horrified, and rightly so, thought Ceann. It would certainly come as a shock to the woman that Ella was not what she seemed…
“She didn’t!” the woman cried indignantly. “Why that lass is nothing if not an angel, with a heart as big as any I’ve ever known, at that.”
Ceann shook his head. “It was all a ruse. I found out she came here to search the castle. I don’t know for what, but I can only guess it’s something of great value tosomeonefor her to take such a risk…”
Maggie’s eyes widened. “You still think she’s aspy?Athief?After all that she’s done for us? You thick-heided man, she came here for you! She was sent to you because she’s your one true mate, you brainless lout!” She stomped her foot on the wooden floor for emphasis.Her occasional eavesdropping had paid off the night she heard Ethan and Iona plotting together in the wood behind the stable. Even still, she liked to think she would have seen it on her own. “Asimpletoncould see what you are to each other!”
