“No...”Her eyes softened.“I care for him. Very much.Sometimes I feel as if he is a part of me, and I can’t live without him by my side, but then he pushes me away, and I just can’t break through to him… but now...” Her hand flew to where the new life grew within, and she realized in the next heartbeat that she already loved their baby. Already there was nothing she wouldn’t do for her child. She let out a dismayed sigh. “What on earth am I to do now?”
“What will you do?” Maggie threw up her hands. “Lass, this is a miracle! A miracle we have all been praying for, for so long. You will tell the bairn’s father and he will take you to wife, right away. I know he will, on his honor.Och lass, you will be the wife of the mighty Laird of Tulloch; you and the child will want for nothing!”
Ella shook her head, suddenly confused and overwhelmed. “No, Maggie. I can’t. Not yet… I can’t be a wife to a man who doesn’t love me, and for that matter doesn’t even want a wife at all. I want a husband who truly loves me!” She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, and wondered how much of her emotional state had to do with the bairn.
The older woman’s face fell a little, but she quickly became determined.“Come now, Ceann has always wanted a child; he will be a wonderful father.”
Ella still sulked.“And will I be his brood mare then?Nothing more?”
Maggie’s face softened. “No, nothing of the sort. Give him a chance, Ella, to remove all the armor he has wrapped around his heart. It won’t happen overnight. He is a very proud man, and aye, very stubborn, just like his da was. In time he will realize that he loves you, and when he does, you will have his whole heart.” She paused and clapped her hands together, excitement lighting her eyes.“Now, lay back on the pillows so I can have a look at you and see that all is well. ‘Tis the one thing an old midwife such as I can do and do well.Then you must go and tell the father-to-be, straight away. Saints but he will be pleased!”
Chapter 17
Later, after the sickness had passed, Ella dressed and set out to find Ceann. Maggie had assured her that all was well with the babe and after inspecting her hips and nether-parts so thoroughly that she blushed, declared that she was strong and well-formed, and should have no trouble with the birth. That had eased her mind a bit. But her heart still fluttered in her chest. Would Ceann be happy about the child?Even if it bound him to her? She felt terrified and excited all at the same time, and her stomach fluttered nervously. How could she find the words to tell him, when she still could not believe the truth of it herself?Wouldhebelieve her?
She found him at last in the stables. He was brushing the mane of his shining black, Fallon, and muttering to the horse in a low tone. His mood looked very dark and pensive, his body taught with tension. Oh God, had something happened? Taking a deep breath, she moved toward him before her courage failed her.
“Ceann”, she called softly. She saw him stiffen, but he didn’t turn.
“Ella, we need to talk.”
Something in his voice made her shiver. It was cold and hard; different.“Talk about what? What is it Ceann, is something wrong?”She could hear her voice rise. He was worrying her.
He turned then, and she saw the hurt and the rage burning in his eyes. She sucked in a breath and took an involuntary step back.
“Tell me, Ella, why you are really here. Tell me what you are looking for! And then tell me how you could use me like you did to get what you wanted!Ialmosttrusted you, damn it!” He closed in on her now, moving faster, drawing his arm back and throwing the brush hard against the wall, nostrils flaring. In his stall, Fallon snorted in alarm andstomped a hoof. “Have you found what you came here for? Tell me!” he roared.
Ella felt something uncomfortably close to fear rising in her chest. And her stomach turned when she saw the disgust on his face. She could not lose him; she had to make him understand… it was him all along… but how had he found out before she herself could tell him? Her hands suddenly felt like ice.
He continued his slow, predatory movement, backing her into the wall. “Did you lie to me? Do you have a man waiting for you at home? Will he be angry when he finds out you are no longer innocent?”He turned suddenly and threw his fist into the wood of a stall door, smashing it.
Ella’s eyes widened in panic.“Cean, stop! You’re frightening me!” Blood welled on his knuckles, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“Tell me Ella,” he whispered darkly, “willheever make you feel like I do?” Then he shouted, “Will he?”
“Stop!”She cried, truly panicking now. “There is no one else... I didn’t...”
He pulled her roughly into his arms then, and held her head between his hands as he punished her with his lips. She struggled against him, but he ravaged her mouth with his until she tasted blood, until she could feel the full physical force of his fury and hurt.Then he pushed her away from him. She landed hard against the wall.
“Take that, and leave me, Ella.Leave Tulloch.Go home”, he said coldly. “Where ever that may be. I don’t want to see you again.Not ever.”
Her trembling hand came up to wipe the blood from her mouth and she met his burning gaze with tears shimmering in her eyes. For a moment she was too stunned to speak.
He turned then and grabbing Fallon’s reins, left her without a backward glance. She was too much in shock to do anything but stare after him, listening to the pounding hoofbeats disappear as he rode away. A moment later her legs gave out and she slumped to the floor.Go home, he had said. Well, she couldn’t go home, but she sure as hell wasn’t staying here either. Her heart beat erratically, and she felt as ifthe very life had been ripped out of her. Sobbing for breath, she tried hard to think.What had happened? How could he treat her this way? Why wouldn’t he listen to her?Standing up, she brushed the straw from her clothing and tilted her chin up, drawing in shaky breaths. Whatever happened to her now, she would protect her child to her dying breath. Only this gave her the courage she needed to leave the stable. She considered going back for her things, but she couldn’t stand the thought of facing anyone in the castle just now.No, the few things she had didn’t matter.
In a stunned trance, she walked out of the side gate and into the woods. She hadn’t gotten far when she heard footsteps behind her. She whirled, frightened and hopeful at the same time. But it was only Ethan, a look of shock and concern on his face.
“God, Ella, what happened?”
She fell, sobbing, into his arms. “He was so angry… he sent me away… he wouldn’t let me explain…”
“Shh, it’s alright. Everything will be alright. I’ll take care of you”. He looked down at her and wiped at the blood near her mouth uncertainly. “Did Ceann do this to you?”
“Aye, he was so angry…”
Ethan eyed her hesitantly. “Did he hit you lass?”Surely Ceann wouldn’t have…
“No, he kissed me.”
