Theanswer came immediately.“Yes.I would.”
“You’dstill tell him to eat clay and fuck off?”
Hisanswer was a kick of the pebbles.
“There’shope in abuse,” Zaria said.“Hope that you’ll see that good part of them again.Hope that you can make it stop if you just act alittle better.With people like your uncle, hope gets you nothing but pain.It’s nothing but sand, sinking you down at every step.”
For amoment, thunder peeled from the distance, rolling across the wreckage like adistant, rumbling beast.
“When Ilost my father,” she said, “I was a crying mess.Spent days in the crate, alldark and cramped.When I got taken out—well, I’m sure you’ll imagine how abunch of pirates treated some little girl crying about her da.I got beaten andcut until I learned to shut my mouth.Only cried at night, when the decks weredark, and no one could see.”
“Soundsfamiliar,” Isaac said.
Zarialeaned back on her hands, tilting her head to spy themoons above.Solnova, the shining patriarch, was a bright yellow sphere.Reinga, the fiery daughter, was directly in front of the larger moon, and hershadow made a dark pupil along the face of her father.For a moment, the twomoons seemed to form an eye, watching from above.
Ulderon,the dark son, was lost in the shadow of his father.
Abreeze rustled the bandage on Zaria’s eye.
“Onlything that saved me was the work,” she said.“Sailing’s a hard trade.You’reslinging rope, swabbing grit, shoring ballast.Top that with raids, boardingaction, just being hungry and scared of your fellows, and I had no time tostand idle and be sad about things.Always busy.Always back to the struggle.”
Herface was outlined in the light of the moons.
“Oneday,” she said, “I woke up, got to scrubbing all the piss and pus from the sickbay, and, a few hours in, I realized I hadn’t been thinking of my father atall.Not a single thought, all that morning.Longest I’d gone since ithappened.”She flicked an ear.“Soon after, I was going whole days.Then it wasweeks, sometimes months, and now I just kinda do it here and there, wheneversomething reminds me.”
In thedistance, lightning pierced the rainbow beneath the storm.The clouds wereblack with rain.
“That’show it works, I think.”She tilted her head, giving Isaac a sideways glance.“There’s nothing sudden.Nothing that makes the world all farts and laughteragain.You just ...get used to them not being there.You sleep, you rise,you keep living.The faces you think you’ll never forget—well, you do.Timescabs them over.You move on.”
Isaacwatched the shadows grow along the shattered buildings, thinking of all thepeople who used to live between their walls.
“Course,”Zaria said, “it takes a while to get there.Sometimes, you’ll be strong.Othertimes, it takes all your strength just to flop out your bunk.You’ll be goingabout your business, and you’ll catch a word or smell that reminds you of home,and it’ll cut right through your armor, and you’ll realize you’re still as rawas the day it happened.”
Sherubbed the scar on her muzzle, tracing the line from chin to nose.
“It’slike a tree, right?You swing an axe, just enough to leave a gash.It’ll bleedsome sap, its leaves might wither a season, but it’ll survive, and when youcome back again, it’ll still have that wound in its side, and now it’s sealedover, and the thing’s still sucking earth and water, and, without looking toohard, it won’t seem no different than the rest of the forest.It’s healthyagain, even with the gash.But that wound will never fade.The tree will neverforget the axe.”
The sunhad drifted below the storm, gleaming red and pale.
“You’llget through this,” Zaria said.“You’ll move on.You’ll keep living.”
Hisvoice nearly cracked.“It doesn’t feel that way.”
“Itnever will, love.Not for a long time.”
Helooked down, trying to breathe.
Sheshifted next to him.There was an intake of breath.After a moment, the wordsbecame a sigh, and she began to stand.“Sorry.I’ll leave you be.”
“No,please,” he said.“Can you....”
Sheblinked at him, her face covered in dirt and dust.
“Canyou just stay here?”Isaac said.“Like this?”
Therewas a moment where her face fell, and she lookedpained and tired, and Isaac realized that she had likely been eager to rest intheir shelter.His improvised liniment had not been enough to soothe her aches.His heart wrenched at the thought that he was bothering her.
“Ifyou’re tired....”
