“Can I tell you something? You probably think I’m out of my mind, but to me…it’s everything.”
Amelia prepared herself for whatever was coming, inhaling a deep, inconspicuous breath. “Of course. You can tell me anything.”
Jo exhaled, but there was something in the way she did it that made Amelia brace herself.
“I think the only place I’ve felt anything close to peace lately is in that dark room. With her. With…Lia.”
That name twisted like a knife through Amelia’s heart.
“I know it’s weird.” Jo scoffed. “You know, finding comfort in a stranger? But it doesn’t feel like she’s a stranger. Not really.”
Amelia stared out the window, allowing Jo whatever space she needed to say everything out loud. She would separate herself from Lia for a moment and try to understand what was going through Jo’s mind.
“There’s something about her. The way she touches me and listens without speaking. The way she waits until I’m ready. It’s like she knows the exact shape of the ache I’ve been carrying.”
Amelia pressed a hand against her sternum, trying to steady the slow breaking of her own heart. God, she couldn’t keep this up for much longer. Not without hurting herself in the process.
“She makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world,” Jo whispered. “Like I matter. Like nothing I’ve been through changes that.”
Amelia bit the inside of her cheek so hard that it brought tears to her eyes.
“She never pushes, and she never asks me to be anything other than what I am in that moment. I don’t have to explain myself. I don’t have to be brave. I can just…be. And for an hour, maybe two, I get to stop pretending that I’m okay when I’m not.”
Amelia closed her eyes. She remembered every moment. Every breath. The way Jo had leaned into her touch as though it was the only thing anchoring her to the earth. The way she’dpressed her forehead to Amelia’s collarbone once, so quietly and so trustingly, that Amelia had wanted to cry right then and there.
“And the strangest part?” Jo said, her voice laced with both wonder and confusion. “I don’t even know what she looks like, I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup, yet she makes me feel more than anyone else has in years.”
Amelia’s throat burned. Even if she’d wanted to respond, she couldn’t. Jo Bleasdale was breaking her piece by piece without even knowing it.
“I know I’m using her as a crutch and I know it can’t go on forever, but it’s all I can handle right now.”
“You’re not using her,” Amelia somehow managed. “You’re surviving. There’s a difference.”
Jo fell silent for a moment. “Do you think she knows that? That I’m not using her to be cruel…but to find myself again?”
Amelia let out a shaky breath. “I think she does.”
“That’s the thing that gets me. She stays when she could choose someone else.Anyoneelse. But…she choosesmeagain and again.”
Oh, I’ll always choose you again and again.Tears fell freely down Amelia’s face.
“I wish I could tell her how grateful I am.” Jo’s voice broke. “That she’s held me together more than she’ll ever know. That until I met her, I was hanging on by a thread.”
Amelia tried to speak, but her voice caught in her throat.
“And I know it’s not real. Not in the way life is real. We don’t talk. There’s no aftermath and no responsibility, but in those moments when it’s just us…it feels more honest than anything I’ve ever had, Amelia.”
It took everything within Amelia not to cry out loud. Because itwasreal. And itwasher. And Jo had no idea. She wanted to scream her confession. She wanted to beg Jo to see her. But how could she? How could she destroy the one space where Jo stillfelt safe? And worse…how could she risk losing both versions of herself in the same breath?
“I’m sorry,” Jo said suddenly. “I didn’t mean to go on like that. I don’t know why I’m even telling you all this.”
“Because I’m listening,” Amelia whispered. “That’s what friends do.”
“You’re right. Thank you. I appreciate it.” Jo sniffled and sighed. “I should get going. I have some prep to do for another shoot in a few weeks. I need to source a studio.”
“Take care of yourself, Jo. You know where I am if you need to talk.”
Amelia ended the call with a trembling hand and stared at her reflection in the window. She looked like someone she didn’t recognise anymore. And all she could hear was Jo’s voice, still echoing in her head…
