She chooses me again and again.
Chapter Thirteen
With her eyes barely open,Jo slumped down onto the couch and powered the TV on. She was supposed to be seeing Ada tonight, but after a long day working, she didn’t have the energy to entertain anyone. She knew what Ada was doing. She was trying to keep Jo busy and keep her mind off everything going on in her life, but she was okay. She would always be okay.
You’ve been through worse.
And she really had.
During those weeks and months after her split from Callum, Jo had woken up every morning wondering what the hell she was doing with her life. In the immediate days after, while she slept in Amelia’s spare room, Jo cried herself to sleep, the tears starting all over again the moment she opened her eyes. Amelia hadn’t mentioned the puffiness or the redness—she was a sweetheart like that—but Jo knew everyone around her had noticed the state she was in.
But this was different.
This was exciting…and terrifying.
Exciting because she had Lia and their shared darkness each weekend, and terrifying because she knew her feelings for Amelia were only growing stronger. Dinner had been great a fewnights ago, but it hadn’t helped Jo in her quest toonlybe friends with her ex’s mum. Add in the stupidity of nearly kissing Amelia, and everything was constantly rattling around in her head. Just this morning, she had woken up thinking about Amelia. Was she okay? Did she have a busy day at work coming up? Could Jo take back the need for time and space?
She groaned as she kicked her feet up onto the couch, lay lengthwise, and mindlessly flicked through the channels. It was midweek, so she’d be lucky to find anything worth falling asleep to, but background noise would do. She didn’t have to be up early tomorrow—it was her day off—but a good night’s sleep wouldn’t do her any harm right now.
Her phone buzzed in the middle pocket of her hoodie. Jo had hoped Ada wouldn’t remember they had plans this evening, but her best friend rarely forgot anything. Working through several excuses in her mind, Jo pulled her phone out, yawning as she glanced at the screen.
Only it wasn’t Ada.
It was Amelia.
Hi. I know it’s last minute, but I’m heading to Satin for a few hours and I wondered if you wanted to meet me there for a drink or two…
Jo swallowed, her stomach somersaulting at the mere thought of being at Satin again with Amelia. Part of her had wanted to bump into her there last weekend when she was with Ada, but she was glad that hadn’t happened. Because dinner with Amelia the following night had been what she’d wanted more than anything. If she had to choose between a cute restaurant or a sex club, she would always choose the restaurant with Amelia Loughlin.
She chewed her lip and mulled it over. Responding immediately could give Amelia the wrong impression. Even ifthere was nowrongimpression to give anymore. Jo wanted her…regardless of the fact that it could never happen.
Midweek? That’s new for me. I didn’t even know it was open midweek.
That wasn’t accepting the invitation, but it wasn’t declining it either.
Midweek is great. It’s much more relaxed. A few of the girls I know will be there. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like x
There Amelia went again with the little kiss at the end of her message. Jo shouldn’t enjoy the way it made her stomach flip, but she did. She always would.
I’ll see how the rest of the evening goes. It’s been a long day. If I don’t show, have a great night x
She added her own kiss, hoping it showed no animosity between them after the incident on the doorstep a few nights ago. Their dinner had been lovely, what had followed not so much, but they hadn’t spoken a lot since. Jo had created that distance, but now she didn’t want it to be there.
Her phone buzzed again just as she was about to bring up Ada’s number.
Okay. I’d like to see you, but if you’ve had a busy day, then rest x
God. Why did Amelia have to say something like that? Did she realise every interaction between them made Jo’s heart thump a little harder? Was it intentional? Jo hated not knowing.
She quickly called Ada before she could respond to Amelia, holding her breath until the call connected.
“Hi, gorgeous face!”
“Hey.” Jo breathed out. “I know we were supposed to be spending the evening together, but I’m not feeling up to it.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m only just getting in from work myself.” Ada’s heels clicked in the background, followed by the thud ofher bag hitting the floor. “You okay? You’ve been quiet this week.”
“Yeah, I’m okay. A little dazed from being with Amelia on Saturday night.”
