Fletcher shrugged and pretended that everything was casual, trying to act cool about it. “I just thought it sounded convincing.” Lie. “You don’t actually believe any of it, do you?”
Taylor shook his head. “No, Fletcher. What I said was convincing. You said that you were still caught up over the breakup and that you fucking loved her. That you’d never felt that way about anyone before.” Taylor’s heart clenched. Why couldn’t Fletcher just admit what he did? Why would he drag this out longer than it needed to be?
Fletcher cupped Taylor’s cheek. “I love you, Taylor. Not her.” He looked into Taylor’s eyes to try and convince him. Taylor knew he loved him. But it didn’t mean what he said was right.
Taylor sighed. He tried to think of why Fletcher would try and pick a fight with him over that. He’d only ever seen Fletcher do that one other time. In Jacksonville. With his dad.
Fletcher was jealous about Alejandra, so he wanted to hurt Taylor in return.
“I know you love me. I love you too. But you were jealous and you wanted me to be jealous too.” He raised his eyebrows at Fletcher. “It felt like a punishment.” He hated the words that came out of his mouth, but he needed Fletcher to understand how he felt.
“Did you think I would jump at the opportunity to be with someone else just because she gave me the slightest bit of attention?”
Fletcher’s eyes started to get glossy as he looked off to the side of the room, hiding his guilt. “I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Fletcher told him, sounding painfully guilty. Maybe confrontation wasn’t working.
“Look at me,” Taylor told him. He grabbed Fletcher’s jaw and forced Fletcher to look at him. Tears started to pool in Fletcher’s eyes. “I love you, Fletcher. Do you believe me when I tell you that?”
“Of course I do,” Fletcher answered softly.
“My love for you is unconditional. But it’s not fair of you to just say something like that and not expect me to be hurt by it.” He felt like he was being pretty good about communicating this to Fletcher without escalating it.
Fletcher nodded as he pondered for a minute. “You’re right. I was trying to get a reaction out of you. Like I do with my dad.” He finally admitted it.
“I’m not your father, Fletcher. It hurts that you would even think of me like that.” It really did. It made him sick.
“I know. I don’t deserve you, Taylor,” Fletcher said softly, sounding full of self-doubt. Taylor wiped away a tear that had fallen down his cheek. His heart clenched.
“You deserve everything, Fletcher. You deserve all the love in the world.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m not lovable. I’m not worthy of it.”
Taylor shook his head before pulling Fletcher into his chest. “I love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.” Taylor sighed. “Take a chance on me. Let me give you the world, Fletcher.”
“Tell me I’m yours,” Fletcher said softly against his chest. “And that you’ll never leave me.”
Taylor could feel his own tears fall down his cheeks. “I choose you. Every day I wake up and I choose to love you. You own me. You own my soul. You own my heart. You are the air I breathe and you’re the light I see. A world where you don’t exist is a world not worth living. A life without you is a life of misery and pain. I love you, Fletcher. You’re my heart and I will never, ever leave you.”
For a minute, they stood there. The silence of the room was heavy, but Taylor needed Fletcher to understand the magnitude of his feelings. Fletcher didn’t know what it was like to be loved like this. Taylor needed to be patient with him and remind him as much as possible.
“Fuck, Taylor. I don’t think I can beat that,” Fletcher choked out a few beats later.
Taylor let out a laugh as he pulled Fletcher closer into him. As tight as possible. Until their bodies melted into each other. He never wanted to let go. He needed to always be with him. “Well, it’s good that we’re on the same team.”
31
The Emotional Baggage Game
Two days later
“So, you’re coming after all?” Fletcher’s mom asked, sparing any excitement. “I’ll make sure your room is ready for you.”
“It’s okay. I’m not staying at the house; my apartment is a lot closer to the stadium, so it makes more sense for me to stay there.”
“Sounds good, sweetie. When will you be landing?”
“I’m not sure. I just got back from California. I’m going to pack my bags and be on the next flight out,” Fletcher told her. “You can tell Dad that Taylor Piers will be here for the next two weeks of camp.”
“Oh, really sweetie?” His mom perked up. “He’ll be so pleased to hear that! Will he be joining us for the Fourth?”
