Jesse pulled his brother in for a hug, wrapping his arms around Taylor. Probably their first hug in a year, Taylor thought to himself. He felt like such a horrible big brother. Taylor felt like he wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t let himself shed a tear in this random bathroom in downtown Sacramento. Everything was so messed up right now. He hated being here.
“I just think you guys need to have a conversation about it.” Jesse gave him an empathetic look. “It’s important to be on the same page.”
Taylor pulled back and patted Jesse on the shoulder, giving him a surprised look. “Since when have you been a relationship expert? Areyouseeing anyone?”
Jesse quickly laughed and shook his head. “I’m holding out for the hot Georgetown students. Hotandsmart.”
“Well, if you’re into cougars then I think Sánchez knowswhere you could find one.”
Jesse gave him a suggestive look. “I’m not quite sure I’m batting for her team these days.”
“You’re fucking with me,” Taylor narrowed his eyebrows in disbelief. That was fucking news to Taylor. Jesse was probably the straightest guy he knew. Well, he thought that about Fletcher too, but obviously he was extremely wrong about that. Maybe his gaydar was broken.
Jesse just shrugged. “Maybe it’s a genetic predisposition.”
“Oh, I’m not gay. I still like women. I just like Fletcher more.” Taylor told him honestly.
“So you’re queer,” Jesse told him.
“I don’t wanna label it. Why does it matter?” he asked his brother.
“I guess you’re right.”
* * *
The dinner could not have ended sooner. Even after he and Jesse had their little bonding moment, Taylor still felt awkward as hell. He sighed in relief when the waiter brought the check over. Fletcher offered to cover it, but when Taylor saw it made Ale blush, he quickly grabbed the check from Fletcher and put his own card down.
Their flight was early the next morning, so Jesse dropped them back off at the hotel before driving back to Caroline’s for the night. They had updated their tickets so Jesse’s dog could fly. Taylor told him that he would be riding business class, but Fletcher announced that he had also upgraded Jesse’s plane ticket. Luckily, Jesse had his own row to himself so his dog had plenty of room to himself.
“You’ll meet us here at what time tomorrow?” Taylor asked his brother.
“Six.”
“Drive safe,” he told Jesse.
Taylor began walking up to the hotel room. When he and Fletcher were in the elevator, Fletcher reached out to hold his hand. Taylor looked down as their fingers interlaced before looking straight ahead. He was still trying to calm himself down from the shitshow of a dinner they had.
He still held Fletcher’s hand as they walked down the hallway and into the room. They took their shoes off and Taylor let go of Fletcher’s hand to start putting some things into his travel bag. Fletcher walked up and wrapped his arms around Taylor from behind. He pressed a kiss to the back of Taylor’s shoulder, but Taylor kept on packing his things up.
Fletcher pressed more kisses to the side of Taylor’s neck. Taylor closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. “Why’d you say those things, Fletch?” he asked him calmly. He wasn’t going to overreact. He was going to have a healthy conversation about it without blowing up.
“I was just joking,” Fletcher said in between kisses. His hands slid up underneath Taylor’s shirt and brushed over the outline of his abs.
“You weren’t joking,” Taylor told him. Still calm and collected. “You said you loved her.” He could hear the pain in his own voice.
“I love you,” Fletcher told Taylor, a hint of guilt in his tone. “I want you to kiss me.” It came out sounding a little desperate, like Fletcher knew he messed up and was feeling insecure.
Taylor didn’t turn around. Not yet. “I feel like you said those things to upset me. Like you wanted a reaction out of me,” hesaid softly. He hated feeling this way.
“Baby, please,” Fletcher’s hands moved down to his waist to try and turn him around, but Taylor didn’t budge. It was upsetting him that Fletcher wouldn’t admit to it. “I need you to kiss me,” he told Taylor, sounding frantic now.
“Fletcher,” Taylor said a little more sternly. He swallowed hard as he turned around. Fletcher immediately reached up to cup his face and fleetingly leaned in to kiss him.
“Stop.” Taylor pulled his head back, trying to put space between them. He needed Fletcher to know he was being serious. Fletcher looked at him with a hurt expression on his face, suffering the sting of rejection.
“I’m not kissing you right now.” Taylor hated the words coming out of him. It made his chest hurt.
“We need to talk about this,” Taylor insisted. “Why did you feel the need to say that stuff?”
