Luis blinked at him, lost. “What?”
“New environment, and maybe you’d feel better with someone around. Our bed is spacious enough,” Karim said.
Luis opened his mouth, then closed it.
“Uh,” Luis said.
“Maybe you could think about it,” Julien said. “As an option. No pressure.”
“Some pressure,” Karim said with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes, “our bed is super comfortable.”
Luis flushed, and Karim’s hand squeezed his knowingly.
“Stop teasing him,” Julien said in warning. Then to Luis, “Truly, no pressure. Just think about it. We want to help.”
“I will,” Luis conceded.
When they left him to go back to sleep, Luis curled back up in his own bed and tried not to imagine curling up in theirs. Tried not to think about how much he wanted it.
And what a dangerous idea that was.
##
During the following week every time Luis closed his eyes, he dropped back into that basement. Sometimes his mom was there, sometimes it was Eric. Sometimes he was chained up, sometimes he was drugged. In every version, he was helpless.
Tuesday Luis spent bitterly looking up apartments and putting in applications. Julien and Karim kept saying he could stay as long as he needed, but Luis knew it couldn’t be forever. He needed his space; he needed to move all his things. Eventually he had to go back to work, and he needed a desk, a routine.
Plus, the longer he spent here with the two of them being so nice, the worse Luis was beginning to feel. He was a loser, a burden, and even if they were too nice to say it, him being here was a disruption on their life. They still had a business to run, and now several times a night they came up from the basement to check on him. To make sure he was okay.
And Luis hated it. He craved their time and attention, and hated himself for being the black hole pulling their lives off course.
Even the texts from Cassie were starting to irritate him.
Everyone was being so kind to him, andLuis didn’t deserve it.He’d made this mess of his life by being a coward, by seeking his mother’s approval long after it was clear to anyone else that it was never going to happen. If he’d just put in boundaries, if he’d cut off contact with her soon, if he’dbeen an adult–
The worst part was no one blamed him. No one thought anything he’d done was worth criticism, not even Karim.
By Friday he’d shut himself in his bedroom so he wouldn’t bite anyone’s head off. Luis was darkly scrolling through social media to waste time when his phone alarm went off.
Blood!
He groaned. How long had it been? At least a week and a half since he’d been bitten.
Luis rubbed a hand across the back of his stiff neck. When they’d gone to his apartment, Luis had grabbed his medical bag. It was sitting now in his closet. He made himself get up and grab the tester and the strips.
Even before the number appeared on the screen, Luis knew what the outcome would be.
He swore when the number appeared, and tossed the tester back into his medical bag.
God, he was tired. Tired of the nightmares, tired of being a burden. Tired of his body that caused him so much pain that he had no control over.
“Fuck you,” he said to the ceiling with venom. Whether he was talking to his mother or himself or the universe was anyone’s guess.
Maybe he was talking to all three.
##
Luis ignored the test results for two days, dragging his feet and rebuffing Julien and Karim every time they tried to ask him what was wrong. He knew he was acting childish, ungrateful, but he couldn’t make himself stop. A part of him knew it was self-sabotage. Like maybe if he was poor enough company, they’d just kick him out and he wouldn’t have to remove himself.
