I stoodin front of the mirror, staring at my protruding belly. Nothing seemed to fit me these days. At eight and a half months pregnant, I didn’t think I could get any bigger. Baby girl would make her way into the world any day now. The maxi dress I wore had become my favorite during the end of my pregnancy. I was tired of wearing it. Uncertainty filled me as I wondered if I should change.
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world, Harley. How lucky am I to call you my wife? I’m even luckier that you’re the mother of my child,” Jude said as he kissed my cheek and rubbed my belly.
“You’re only saying that because I’m pregnant. I’m big as a house. Do you think I should change?” I questioned.
“I’m saying that because it’s true, Harley. You aren’t big as a house. Stop being so hard on yourself. We’re just going to dinner, love. You don’t need to wear anything fancy. I just wanted us to have one last outing before you deliver,” he explained.
I sighed deeply. My husband, Jude, was my favorite person in the world. He always knew what to do and say to make me feel beautiful. I hated to disappoint him, but I had no desire to go out. Throughout my pregnancy, he doted on me, and dinner was his way of continuing that. He wanted to ensure that we didn’t become so lost in parenthood that we lost sight of the foundation of our relationship.
“Let’s go, beautiful. We don’t want to be late for our reservation,” he coaxed.
Jude took my hand and led me out the door. As I waddled to the car, he walked behind me with his hand placed on the small of my back. His cologne made me nauseous at the beginning of my pregnancy, but I could finally stand it again. I allowed his manly, woodsy smell to fill my nostrils.
As we approached the passenger side of the car, he walked ahead of me to open the door. While I struggled to get inside the car, he helped me lower my body into the seat. Once I was inside, he closed the door, then made his way to the driver’s side.
Jude smiled at me as I fumbled with the radio to find something to listen to.
“You never told me where we were going,” I said.
“That’s because I told you it was a surprise, Harley,” he said.
“It’s not nice to keep a hungry, pregnant lady in suspense,” I teased.
Jude flashed his million-dollar smile that could light up a room. I didn’t know how lucky I was to find him. Jude and I had known each other since elementary school. We grew up in the same small town, Locust Valley. On my eighteenth birthday,Jude asked me to be his wife. And here we were, six years later, about to start our family. The sound of rain pelting down on the car caused knots to form in my stomach.
My mother had died in a car accident when I was a child, and ever since the tragic accident, I’d hated being in the car during inclement weather. Jude was speaking to me, but I couldn’t focus on the conversation. I looked over at him and froze, my voice nonexistent as I tried to warn him of the car coming too quickly toward us. I became paralyzed with fear as I hit his arm in an attempt to warn him. The next sound I heard was a loud boom before I blacked out.
I struggled to open my eyes as I felt someone tug on my body.
“Ma’am, can you hear me? You were in an accident, but we’re going to get you out of here. Just stay with me, okay?” a male firefighter said to me.
I tried to open my mouth, but nothing came out. When I tried to nod my head, I couldn’t move.
“Her eyes are open, but she must be in shock. Let’s hurry and get the jaws of life over here, guys. We have to get them out,” the firefighter said again.
I looked over at Jude, who appeared to be slumped over the steering wheel with blood leaking from his forehead. I felt myself hyperventilating before I blacked out again.
I groggily opened my eyes and looked around the room. I was in the hospital. My mind struggled to figure out why I was there as I tried to move, but my body ached, and as I slid my hand down over my belly, panic set in.
“My baby! Where is my baby? Oh my God!” I yelled.
“Harley, baby, calm down. We’re here, baby. The baby is fine.”
I looked at my Nana and PopPop, who both had looks of worry combined with relief etched on their faces.
“What happened? Why don’t I remember giving birth?” I questioned.
Nana and PopPop exchanged somber looks. Nana took my hand and rubbed the back of it. “Baby, there was an accident. You had to have an emergency C-section to deliver Reign. She’s okay, and they have her in the nursery. We have been checking on her since we got here a few days ago.”
“A few days ago? Where is Jude? Why isn’t he in here with me?” I asked. I looked at my grandmother’s watery eyes.
“Jude… Jude didn’t make it, Harley. I’m so sorry, baby,” she said through tears.
“What do you mean he didn’t make it? Where is Jude? This isn’t funny!” I shouted.
PopPop moved closer to the bed and grabbed my other hand. “Baby girl, his injuries were too severe. The car hit you guys on his side. He died while they were operating on him,” he explained.
“No, no, no! Jude can’t be gone! God, why? Why would you take him from me?” I sobbed loudly as my grandparents tried to comfort me. They wrapped their arms around me while I cried out. I’d lost the love of my life—my husband. He never got to meet our daughter. The thoughts were rapid as I cried my heart out. I cried until there were no tears left. There were no words to express the loss. A nurse came into the room and put something in my IV, and I went back to sleep.
