Black Souls and Bacon
Being forced into the body of an animal that licked its own genitals wasn’t the most dignifying of ways to reclaim my position in Hell, but it wasn’t that bad as punishments went.
Lifting his hind leg and scratching behind his large, pointy ear, the demon Malachi rolled his eyes as the crowd of little girls outside of his cage oohed and aahed. He was too damn cute for his own good. Baring his teeth, he snarled, not wanting to be adopted by the fucking Cleaver family. The mother eyed him warily and pulled her children away to another cage where a wrinkly ball of fur that could barely walk without rolling was doing its best to get their attention. It looked like a fluffy potato.
Grunting, he flopped down and heaved out a gusty sigh; he hoped it sounded like the icy winds of the frozen sections of Hell whipping across the barren land. In reality, it sounded like the sweetest huffed-out doggie breath ever. A dog. A flipping fuzzy-assed canine. Cute. Fluffy. Adorable. At least he was solid black. Hoping his eyes were glowing crimson-red like a Hellhound, he turned and stared into the metal water dish to check. He groaned; they were the most pleasant shade of melt-your-heart chocolateybrown that ever existed. This sucked worse than the time cave lice ran rampant through his legions and their nether regions.
“Hey, Chuck, look at this one. It’s black, like your soul,” came a male voice just out of sight of the cage where Malachi was being held at the animal rescue center. He remembered the last scream of rage from his demon Ward Commander before he was whisked away to suffer his punishment. Welcoming the blackness as it closed in on him, because black was, of course, his favorite color, he was confused when he opened his eyes and gazed around. Low to the ground, in a cage with a concrete floor, metal bars between him and the outside world. The noise and stench overwhelmed him at first, and sensory overload swirled around until a whimper slipped from his throat. The sound shocked him so much that he paused and began taking stock of his body. Where his nose would normally be, he found a long snout instead. His fingers and toes were now furry paws, and a tail waved from his behind like a hairy flag. He finally figured out where and what he was, to his everlasting dismay.
But now he was intrigued.A black soul? That sounds like my ticket out of here. The owner of the voice came into view, and Malachi studied the man who had spoken. He looked like a strong, capable dude that would have fun getting into trouble with a demon, maybe even do a little soul corrupting along the way. That would for sure get Malachi pardoned. Then he took in the man’s clothing, noting it was a police uniform.Ooh, corrupting an officer? Even better!He glanced at the person the man had spoken to—the supposed black-souled Chuck—expecting another man to run around creating chaos with.
His gaze settled on a slender woman, and he dropped flat, backing up in terror at the burning, glowing visage of the angel standing there, glaring at the man who now smirked mockingly at her. The black police uniform,tightly encasing her body, did nothing to subdue the soft, bright light emanating from her skin.
Black soul, my unholy ass!Malachi thought frantically. Trying to summon his shadow power, he nearly howled as it wouldn’t respond. His demonic magic was locked down. He scrunched himself into a small ball of shadow and tried to disappear into the corner, hoping she wouldn’t notice him. Black dogs and cats were the least likely to be adopted. If he was still enough, he might get out of this one. He glared at the man who had suggested him, now thinking the ruggedly handsome man was a douchebag of epic proportions.
The woman turned her warm gaze to Malachi and frowned, a cute pout of her lips as her brows drew together. “I don’t know, Jaxon; he seems kind of timid. How do you think he would handle it if someone threatened him or pointed a gun at him? Poor fluffer would probably piss himself then hide under the bed.”
I would not! Take that back, you lying bitch!Malachi snarled the words at her, but of course, all they heard was aggressive barking.Ugh, even my bark is cute.He debated vomiting on her shoes in protest, but decided to piss on Officer Jaxon, the douchebag, instead. Lifting his hind leg, he aimed at the man’s shiny boots.
Jaxon jumped back, startled. “Oh, what the hell?” He groaned and shook the liquid off his pant leg before he stomped away to get some paper towels.
The woman squatted down and stared at him. “Why did you do that… um,”—she paused and read the paper in his cage—“Noble. Huh. You were found behind a Barnes & Noble bookstore, untagged and unchipped. Poor baby. So why did you pee on him? I’m the one who called you puny, but you’re a feisty fellow, aren’t you?” She waved a clerk over. “Hey, can I take Noble to the play yard? I’d like to interact with him to see if he’d fit the need.”
Need? What need?He wondered as he studied the woman, interest piqued. She didn’t seem to recognize that he was a demon. He was confused; most angels would smite him on sight, but she didn’t. Which was good, because smiting hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. She seemed intrigued by him, and he realized he had a burning curiosity about her as well. She had rich mahogany hair, cut short in a pixie style, tapering at her neck. Her eyes were a deep brown, much like his own. She was like no angel he’d ever seen. Where was the shining blonde hair? The blazing eyes of blue? The wings? He tilted his head and stared. She was pretty, being of average height and shape, nothing overly noticeable. Just a pretty girl next door who happened to be carrying a gun and handcuffs. His tongue lolled out then. Handcuffs were always fun, even if they couldn’t hold him long.
“Sure. Noble is super smart and playful. A real sweet boy,” gushed the perky volunteer who bounced cheerfully over to open the cage.
He smirked; she was thinking of the dog they’d taken in before it was replaced by a demon. Idly, he wondered what happened to the actual dog, then decided he didn’t care. He was a demon; he wasn’t supposed to care. Eagerly, he stepped forward towards the opening, getting ready to make a run for it when the officer asked the volunteer an interesting question.
“Does he bite? I mean, I want him to bite, but only on command.”
Pausing, Malachi sat back and tilted his head, studying her again. Biting on command had potential. Just like the handcuffs.Color my black heart intrigued. What are we doing here, Officer Angel?
The volunteer glanced at her with concern for the strange question, then took in the uniform. “Oh, are you wanting a trainee for a K-9 unit?” Her expression turned bright and cheerful again, and Malachi felt slightly nauseated.
Officer Angel nodded slowly. “I’m looking for a K-9 partner. One we can train to fetch criminals on the run. Normally, we get our service dogsfrom a specialized breeder overseas, but I got permission to use a shelter dog for active retrieval. We’re looking to spotlight our partnerships with community organizations to show that even shelter mutts can be loyal and helpful.”
Who you calling a mutt?He growled, wishing he could access his dark powers so he could smudge that soft glow surrounding her frame.
The female officer glanced back at him and smiled in amusement. “Sorry, buddy, I guess you didn’t like being called a mutt? Apologies, Noble. Wanna go play?” Reaching through the crack in the door, she ruffled the fur between his ears and grinned. “Wow! He’s way softer than I thought he would be. What breed is he? He kind of looks like a Belgian Malinois, but his fur is like silk.”
The volunteer bobbed her head. “We suspect he is, but of course, being from the street, we can’t confirm. I hear Malinois make good police dogs, and solid black ones are rare.”
Nodding absently, the officer knelt down and clipped a leash on the collar around his neck as she stared intently at him. “Well, come on, Noble. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
She gave a small tug on the leash, but he just sat there, staring at her in disdain. He was not some poodle bitch to do her bidding just because she had a piece of rope. He was a demon. Lieutenant of the Sixth Ward. He had a legion under his command.Hadbeing the operative word. Dropping his head in shame, a low whine escaped his throat. He was currently commanding no one.
Officer Angel held out a piece of what smelled like bacon. “Come on, Noble, want a snack?”
You bet your wingless ass I do!He licked his chops. He might not walk on a leash, but he would do some pretty shady stuff for bacon. Inching forward, his nose quivered at the delicacy in her slender fingers. His firstinstinct was to chomp her hand just to see the blood fly. Hello, demon. But he gently took the treat, and his eyes rolled back. This was too good to be true.Is this what H-Heaven’s like?It might not be, but it was as close as he would ever get. He licked his lips again and stared up at her, releasing a small whimper designed to play on her sympathies.
“Alright! Typical man, the way to your heart is through your stomach. Come play with me a little, and there’s more snacks where that came from. Okay, buddy?” She tilted her head and smiled at him.
He nodded his head before remembering dogs didn’t do that and flopped out his tongue instead, putting a stupid expression on his face as she frowned, looking closer.
“I swear he just…” She shook her head slowly, eyebrows raised. “Never mind. Come on, Noble, let’s go find Jax and see what you can do.”
Malachi grinned; he couldn’t wait to pee on Jaxon again.
