“So what’s the plan for today? We hanging out, or do you two need some alone time?” Erica says and wiggles her brows at me.
I rub the back of my neck. “I promised Mom I’d go change the flowers at the cemetery. I haven’t been since we buried Dad.”
“Oh, would you mind if I went along? I’d like to take some flowers to my dad. I’d also like to finish our talk,” Zah says.
She has that same hesitant look from last night, so I agree. The sooner we get through our shit, the sooner we can move forward with our lives. I need her to know I’m fully here this time.
“I’ve got the kid. I was supposed to have him for the weekend anyway. You two do whatever you need to do. Just promise me one of you will keep a level head and call for a moderator if things go south.”
I snort. “I think we can handle things like adults.”
Erica purses her lips and gives me a look. “Yet you’re the one always with your foot in your mouth.”
“Don’t you have a pair of shoes to buy? I’ll pay for them. Now get lost.”
“Love you,” she sings.
“Yeah, I love you too.”
Zahirah
“Hey,Mr. Coswell, it’s me, Zah. It’s been a while. There’s something I always wanted to say.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I never gave you and Daddy those stupid passes. I’m sorry, all of this is my fault. If it weren’t for me, you two would still be here.
“I didn’t mean to take you from everyone. I miss you guys so much. I wish you both could be here to meet AC.
“I named him Aaron Christopher after you and my dad. He’s such a good boy. I’m so sorry,” I sob.
“Zah, what are you talking about?” Bentley says from beside me.
I turn to look up at him. He’s looking down at me in confusion. I wrap my arms around my middle and shake my head. I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest since last night.
“It was my fault. I bought them those passes for Christmas. That’s why you couldn’t stand being around me. I’m so sorry.”
“What the hell? Shit, baby, are you serious?”
I nod, not able to speak. I have a lump in my throat that feels the size of a watermelon. When I look up through my lashes, he’s searching my face with his gaze.
“I never blamed you for anything. That’s not?—”
“You may not have consciously blamed me, but I think subconsciously that has always been an issue.”
He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it and purses his lips. I put my head down, no longer able to look at him. A chill runs through me and I shiver.
“Are you done here?” he asks.
I already placed fresh flowers on my father’s grave. This was our last stop. I nod once again.
Bentley wraps his arm around me and leads me to the car. We climb in and ride back to the house in silence. I think I’m going to be sick.
Once we get back to my place, he parks in my garage, and we go into the house. I’m trying to think of the right thing to say, but my guilt is consuming me.
“I would like us to go to counseling as a couple and maybe even individually. I’ve already been seeing someone. I’ll get a recommendation for someone new here.
“It helped me a lot. It’s your choice. All expenses on me,” he says as we sit down on my couch.
I look down into my hands as I think his words over. I’ve been avoiding this topic and living my life without opening those wounds for so long.
