I was feeling awful, my non-existent limbs were stiff, my head was hurting, and I had no idea what to do with that answer.
“I am sorry, but I don’t understand. I was at the court of dreams and I think I died and now I am here. Is this the afterlife?” I asked.
She smiled again and I truly wanted to punch her in the face for it.
“I am sorry that you are confused. Let me try again. I am not a person, I am a concept, a patchwork of creatures and essences and stories, I am what you call The Fates.”
I sucked in a breath. I had never thought about what the Fates would look like or who exactly they were, but this was unexpected.
“So… I did die, huh?” I said.
She shifted slightly, as if my question made her uncomfortable.
“You did. The harnessing was too much for your body to handle. You weren’t supposed to do that.”
Annoyance rose in me. The prophecy had been more than a little confusing, how was anyone supposed to know what to do with the jumbled, ominous words? I got up, the anger in my stomach making it impossible to sit still.
“Well… you weren’t exactlyclearabout what I should or shouldn’t do,” I said defensively, “the prophecy was vague at best and it caused a lot of pain. So I think you should takea look at yourself and next time you issue a prophecy, be fucking clear with your instructions.”
I was more than annoyed. I was incredibly tired and the heat in this space made me feel sleepy again.
The Fates just smiled at me softly. “Putting things into motions that will change the course of the world isn’t an exact science. It’s like baking bread: you can have all the right ingredients and know all about the right temperature, but still sometimes the dough will not rise.”
I thought she was going to say more, but she remained quiet.
“So what are you trying to say? I am a dough that hasn’t risen up to your standards? Thanks for that, I think you could have just left me dead. No need to insult me in the afterlife.”
I turned to leave, even though I didn’t know where the Fates I was even going.
“No, Maelis, you are not a dough. And if anything, you have exceeded the hopes we had for you. You both did.”
I turned around to look at her. “Both? Do you mean Theo?” My voice got softer then and the anger in my stomach dissolved. It was replaced with longing and sadness and happiness, because he was finally free.
“Yes,” she smiled, “we had the right ingredients, and we knew what your hekas would be. We had the perfect timetable and the right temperature, but we did not factor in one important detail: that since the beginning of time, people have fallen in love in the most beautiful ways and under the most unexpected of circumstances. Love was not part of our plan, but when it happened, it changed the way this story was to play out.”
Tears were rolling down my cheeks, because I knew they were telling the truth. Everything that had happened changed the moment I realized I was falling for him.
I wiped away my tears with my sleeve.
“What was supposed to happen then? Can you tell me or is this some cosmic secret?”
She shook her head and held her hand out, so I would sit with her once more.
“It is no secret, not anymore. The two of you were supposed to train together and learn together, just like you did at the beginning. If he hadn’t been so scared to fall for you even more than he already had, Auretheos would have understood that only your joined powers could defeat the Heralds and the Gods with their dark magic. He would have found the spells in the Book of Long, and you would have been able to avoid the war without a single life being lost.”
The words sliced through me like a blade. My throat tightened, and a sob tore loose before I could stop it.
If only I’d tried harder. If only I’d seen how afraid he was. I should have reached for him, forced him to stay, begged him to trust me.
All of it, every death, every fire, every scream, was a consequence of my silence.
My vision blurred. I pressed a trembling hand to my mouth, but it didn’t stop the shaking.
The figure in front of me quietly handed me a tissue. I took it, though my fingers barely worked, and whispered, “It’s my fault. All of it. Again.”
The Fates regarded me for a long moment. When they spoke, their voice was neither kind nor cruel, simply inevitable.
“Fault,” they repeated softly, as if tasting the word. “Such a small thing to place upon the weight of eternity.”
