“No,” he says. “Hush. I’m trying to work up the nerve to do something.”
“You’re nervous?” Unintentionally, I clench my jaw and grind my teeth back and forth. “The fuck are you nervous for?” I take a step forward, fisting the tail of his shirt, pulling until he’s right in front of me, clenching my hole with all I’ve got. “Whatever you want to do, just do it, Ez. You ain’t got to be scared with me. Ever.”
He swallows, dipping his head in a nod that doesn’t seem very convincing. Standing on his tiptoes, Ezra parts his lips and presses them against mine.
Fuck.
He’s kissing me. He’s giving me a full-on, open-mouth kiss. One hand roams up my back as the other glides against my freshly shaven head. He’s whimpering and making all these lurid sounds that make my dick stiffen. Slowly, it rises, inch by inch until it’s touching his thigh. He startles, backing away, eyes wide, his cheeks flushed pink. “I should let you handle your business. I’ll go cuddle with Bubs until you’re ready.” He gives me another kiss, but he doesn’t back away, like the act of tearing himself away from me is impossible. I know how it feels, because, fuck. His lips are like the missing link, bridging the gap between all I’ve been, all I’ll eventually become. “I want to start doing that more often. All the time.”
“One more,” I whisper. “For the road.”
He laughs softly, but I see the way his hands are shaking. God, he’s beautiful this way. I lift his chin with my finger until he’s looking up at me, and then I close the distance, kissing him softly. He whines into my mouth, and I swallow it down like soda. One of us deepens the kiss, but I couldn’t tell you who the fuck it was to save my life. All I know is this kiss feels true. Our tongues tangle desperately, neither wanting to let the other go.
He pulls back and smiles at me. “Barbara says we’re going to have visitors soon. She says they’re going to come in and shake shit up.”
“Why the fuck is she in here while I’m douching? I’m telling you, bro, she’s one of them Peeping Toms you hear about on the internet.”
He shrugs. “I’ve begged her for privacy endlessly since she first showed up. She’s always a big jerk about it.
Before I can get a word out, it hits me. The unbearable fullness in my gut, feeling like a balloon that might pop. “I think you might need to leave.” My stomach feels like it’s filled with rolling rapids, and I need him out of this bathroom before he sees something he can’t unsee. He pulls away and gives me a nod.
“I’ll see you in a few,” he says, waiting for me to nod in agreement before turning and leaving the restroom.
When it’s done and I’m squeaky clean, I stare at the man in the mirror. He’s a little older than he used to be, but there’s a new sense of knowingness shining in my eyes. I’ve been so confused for so long, and for the first time since moving out of Arkansas, I’m sure of something. I know what I want, and I know who I am.
I open the door, expecting to find Bubba and Ezra raw-dogging each other already, but they’re not. They’re both sitting on the side of the bed, their legs dangling over, Ezra’s feet not even touching the floor. Their fingers are weaved together, patiently waiting for me like I’m Jesus returning for the rapture or some shit.
I don’t know why I put my underwear back on before I left the bathroom, but I regret it, because Bubba and Ez are both bare-ass naked on our bed. Seeing them this way—perfect contrasts to each other—my heart swells in my chest.
They waited for me. They’restillwaiting for me, both staring with adoring eyes
“Hey, Bubba. Hey, Ez,” I whisper, my cheeks growing warmer.
Bubba’s eyes dip up and down the length of me like he’s trying to memorize every centimeter. He’s seen me in my underwear before—hell, he’s seen my cock coated in cum before—but it’s different this time. This moment is more. More than anything we’ve ever been, truer than it’ll ever be.
I love him.
If you cracked a hole in my chest and drilled me dry, all you’d get is the love I feel for him, and the overwhelming level of love he’s shown me. Then there’s Ezra, staring at me like he feels it too. Like he knows this moment is bigger and better than all the rest. A stepping stone into our future.
“You don’t have to be scared,” Bubba says, standing and walking toward me. His beard is calling to me. Begging me to run my fingers through the fur on his face, because I know it’ll calm my racing heart. Instead, I wrap my arms around him. Bury my face in his neck, and hold on tight. “I’ve got you. We’re going to go slow until you get the hang of it.”
“What if I don’t get the hang of it? What if it hurts?”
“If it hurts, we stop. If you hate it, we stop. If you so much as wince, we stop. Your comfort is the only thing that matters right now.”
“What if I never like it?” I ask, breaking eye contact, because I’m scared of what his answer might be.
He tugs up my chin until we’re eye to eye. “If you don’t like getting fucked, then you can fuck me. If you don’t like being on top or bottom, that’s okay too.”
The longer I stare into his eyes, the truer it feels. Because this is what Bubba does. He takes care of me when I can’t take care of myself. He puts my needs above his own. Bubba cares for me in a way no one else ever has. It’s what he’s always done.
The moment his lips touch mine, I’m a goner. His hand grips the small of my back, almost like he’s trying to press our bodies close enough that we merge into one. Part of me would be fine with it, but the other part just feels bummed that Ezra wouldn’t be sharing a body with us.
As if on cue, Ezra’s lips touch my shoulder, and my knees go weak. Bubba tightens the grip he has on me, and when he tugs me evencloser, his cock swells to life, and this low, possessive growl rattles in the back of his throat.
When we pull away, I stare at him with hooded eyes, allowing myself to get swept away in the sight of him, dazed. “Bubba.”
“I’m right here, baby. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.” Trying to prove it, I guess, he kisses me again, harder this time, twisting and turning his tongue against mine until I get seasick from the movement.
