“More times than I care to admit.”
“Did you ever bust your load while you were watching me on OnlyFans?”
“No. I wanted to. God, Ez, sometimes I got so fuckin’ hard, it felt like it would break the fuck off. Because of you. Because of that pretty little cock of yours.”
“Jesus, Johnny,” he breathes, looking awestruck.
I twist my hips, showing him my big fuckin’ dick, grabbing onto the shaft and shaking that shit right at him. “You’ve made this motherfucker throb so many times, Little Dick. You’ve almost made me come without even touching it. I don’t stroke it while I watch you, though. No matter how bad I want to.”
“Why?”
“It would be crossing a line. I already crossed so many of them, I couldn’t cross that one too. At first, I just wanted to find dirt on you. I wasn’t doing it for a thrill. I don’t want you to think of me as a creep.”
“I don’t. I wouldn’t.”
“I thought of you. Once I started feeling these feelings, I didn’t want to stop. I never came while I was looking at you, but I’ve busted the biggest loads of my life thinking about you.”
Color spreads through his cheeks, and he can’t keep the smile off his face. He must be embarrassed, because he looks away from me, staring down at my ass. “I’ve shot a few loads thinking about you too. I’ve thought about your butt a lot.” He leans down and kisses each cheek. “I thought about kissing it. Touching it. Slipping my fingers inside.” Slowly, he kisses his way up my spine, his mouth touching each knot, breath ghosting across my skin. His lips touch my ear. “I’ve thought about fucking you, Johnny. I’ve never fucked a man before because I was scared if I asked, someone might laugh at me and tell me I have no business pounding hungry holes.”
I look over my shoulder at him. “Because you’ve got such a small dick?”
“Y–yeah,” he stutters, surprised by my bluntness. “Yeah. Because it’s small.” He leans a little closer, his lips connecting with my earlobe, and he takes it into his mouth, twirling his tongue around it. “I know it’s not as big as Bubba’s, but will you let me put it in you anyway?”
“Yeah. Yeah, baby. You can put it in me. I want you to.” The tip of the bottle touches my hole, startling me, but Ez is right here, just when I need him most, squeezing my shoulder. Telling me everything is going to be okay. Asking me to be his big, brave boy and take a deep breath. I take the breath he’s asked me to, then I take the hand he has on my shoulder and guide it over my heart, letting him feel how fast it’s racing. For him. His lips press gently against my shoulder, andeverything else fades away. His mouth lingers longer than it should, but that’s okay. He can keep it there all day if he wants. “I’m scared, Ez.”
“I know,” he says softly. “You only lose your anal virginity once. I was a nervous wreck when I bottomed for the first time.” I look over my shoulder, because I know what Ezra had to do to survive on his own. He don’t talk about it much, but he talks about it some, and each time, there’s this far-away look in his eyes that tells me I’m better off not pressing the subject. I want to, though. I want to crack Ezra Edwards open like a history book and learn all his hidden parts. The good, the bad, and the ugly. One day he’ll trust me with his truth. Until then, I’ll settle for the scraps he provides. “Okay, I’m going to push the water in. It’ll be uncomfortable, but it won’t hurt.”
“Will you stay with me? Until it’s time for me to do the other part?”
“I’ll stay until you ask me to go,” he promises.
Once he’s filled me as full as I can get, he motions for me to rest on my side. The sensation of fullness is strong, and there’s no denying it. Ezra knows, because he’s even more gentle with me now than he was before. He pulls the nozzle out of my hole, and lies beside me, stretching out on the floor, hooking an arm around my waist, holding me right against his chest the way I spoon him while we sleep sometimes. It’s nice being held by someone so much smaller. I love when Bubba cradles me, because it makes me feel protected. With Ezra, it’s like he needs someone to hold onto just as much as I do.
Ezra rubs my stomach in these small, circular motions that make the hair on my arms stand on end, and making the sensation of fullness more bearable. “You don’t have to be scared. I’m going to be right there with you the whole time. I’ll hold your hand if you want me to.”
That’s exactly what I want. I want his hand in mine so fuckin’ bad.
“Are you going to clean yourself out once I’m done?”
“I did it this morning. I like to wash myself out once a week. A few years ago, I had a sugar daddy who turned me onto weekly colonics. Sadly, he shattered my heart—”
“I’ll kill him,” I growl.
Ezra kisses my neck. “Thank you, guard dog. He shattered my heart by dying, but I appreciate the devotion.”
I look back at him. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “Thank you. He was a good man. Most of them weren’t. Anyway, I liked feeling clean so regularly, so after he was gone and I couldn’t afford the sessions, I just started using these bad boys every week. Today happened to be the lucky day. Huzzah!”
“Huzzah? The fuck’s that mean?”
“It means one of you get to fuck me tonight. Probably.”
My cock twitches. “Huzzah.”
He kisses the back of my neck before standing. “Alright. It’s time. I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.” He offers me a hand and helps me up, and once I’m on my feet, he looks up at me with those big, brown eyes, making my legs go wobbly. He’s got his bottom lip tugged between his teeth, lost in thought. He leans closer, then stops, looking torn.
“Ez?”
