He wasn’t done.
“I called Ethan and Gene. They were back in DC, and I called them to come. I should have called the cops, but I called my friends because I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t…”
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and focused on the man.
“They got there, and they found me sitting on the floor across the room, staring at what was left of my husband. They called the police, and because I called them first, I looked guilty. I had blood on me, and I had hours I couldn’t explain away.”
Alex put his hand on Corbin’s arm to soothe him.
“I was crucified. I was run through the ringer, and my marriage was put on display as a cop who killed his gay husband. It destroyed me because I loved him so much that I knew it was my fault for not being there. I didn’t protect him. Will was the last person I’ve ever tried to protect and who I felt something for. That’s why I had to put space between us. I feel something again, Alex, and I don’t know how to come to grips with that. A part of me feels guilty because I promised to love him forever, and when we’re together, just watching a movie, or going bowling, I feel alive again. I feel happy again.”
Alex listened.
“That hurts because I know my heart is finally healing, and after all of these years, it’s ready to move on. I just don’tknow how to do that. I pushed to have a family, and then I got cold feet, and that caused him to die.”
As he stood there, Alex didn’t know what to say. So, he said nothing.
“I’m attracted to you, as you can see from last night. There was a wall when I knew you were into women, and it was a safety net. It was safe because I had that excuse that no matter how attracted to you I was, you weren’t into men, so I was safe.”
He laughed sardonically.
“I’m an equal opportunity asshole, Corbin. I’ve just about done everything in bed. I’ve fucked a male stripper. Don’t ask. There was tequila and a big-breasted stripper that started it. Thus, how I had sex with a man, and he didn’t have sex with me.”
That explained the surprise when Corbin took him last night.
Yeah, and about what he just said...
“I probably wouldn’t like it, since I’m attracted to you,” he admitted. “I’m sorry about last night,” he stated, and saw the look on Alex’s face.
He realized why.
“Uh, not the sex part. The how I just took you. I assumed, and I should have been more careful. I don’t like to hurt people, and I didn’t ask questions to know if you were good with me just taking ass.”
That was the least of Alex’s issues.
Alex was honest.
“I’m not upset about that, Corbin. It was something completely different that hurt a lot more.”
Oh, Corbin knew.
“Telling you that it wouldn’t change anything or matter was a shit move, Alex, and I’m sorry I went there. I’m ashamed of that comment because it was a lie. It changed everything. I talked to my dead husband today.”
Alex blinked.
That wasn’t what he was expecting the man to say to him because it was…weird.
“Pardon?”
He actually laughed.
“Apparently, our boss has a friend who is a medium, and my dead husband needed to cross and in order to cross, he had to tell me to move on. So that was an interesting conversation. It’s been a bizarre day.”
Alex knew who he was talking about.
“Victoria Littlemoon. She used to be a Fed. Yeah, you’re not the only one who has had a run-in with her.”
Corbin was honest.
