But nothing was happening on that front. In all honesty, Wyler had apologized, and he’d tried his best to make amends, but some things took time.
His and Ethan’s relationship was likely going to be one of those things. All he could hope was that he’d have the time to see it be healed again.
The bottom line was that his eldest son held a wicked grudge on a good day.
On a bad day, it could make a grown man cry—and he was the grown man in this scenario.
And he wanted to weep with the best of them.
Having dealt with his son before, after he’d fucked up his life with his crappy choices, he was no stranger to the rage. Now, it was about riding it out.
What he wished he could do was make it all better, but that wasn’t happening.
Wyler knew that.
Oh, they were cordial, but what he wanted was for his son to not hold back with him, and hopefully, when they dream walked together, something would be the catalyst.
For healing.
Maybe Catherine would give him an idea of how he could heal what he’d broken all of those years ago.
What Wyler knew without a shadow of a doubt was that he should have gone and saved Ethan when CPS came and took him away.
He should have gone and picked him up instead of getting drunk. So now, as he was waiting to find a way to get Ethan to really forgive him, he had to just be cognizant of his feelings.
Wyler believed that maybe, if Ethan went to chemo with him, he’d soften up, but that hadn’t been the case.
He’d gone, but he’d waited in the car, and Chris and Elizabeth had gone in with him. If they had a good dream walk, maybe that would change.
After all, he had chemo on Monday, and he was flying home with the family this weekend.
“Thank you for doing this,” Wyler said.
Ethan glanced up.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said.
Ethan was ready to do this. For him, it was now or never. As the reservation Shaman, he’d likely be doing this a lot, so he might as well get that first trip out of the way.
He was dressed in a ceremonial shawl that Timothy always used when he walked in the smoke, and Ethan had claimed it, along with this role in the family, as his own.
It was time he started making the man proud.
“I hear you’re going to talk to Lance tomorrow,” Wyler said, trying to make small talk.
Blackhawk nodded as he got the smoke pot ready to go. They’d use that, and they’d actually smoke some peyote to get deep into the dream walk.
It was his preferred way to enter that realm.
“Yeah, I have to make my decision official. I think he assumes I’m coming to say I don’t want to do it, and that the Blackhawks are giving up their rights to being the reservation Shaman. Won’t he be surprised?” he asked, knowing no one was more surprised than him.
Wyler nodded.
“Likely. I’m glad you’re doing it,” he admitted. “Timothy would be proud.”
When he lifted his head, Ethan stared at him with cold eyes. In them, there was so much emotion.
The bottom line was this.
