He couldn’t let go of that promise.
“You’re not gay. I don’t understand,” he said, his mouth inches from the other man’s.
Alex was honest.
“I’m not anything. Don’t you get it, Corbin? I’m some shadow that wanders around. I live in the darkest spaces where nothing can see me. I am those darkest spaces.”
Corbin said nothing.
“I’ve been in bed with men before. I’ve had lots of sex in orgies with drunken people. I fucked more times than I can count to fill me up, and it never worked before. I’m not gay, straight, or bi. I’m invisible. I’m a dead man walking.”
Corbin stared at him.
“Why would you want to do it again?”
He was honest.
“It’s all I have. I know it won’t change anything. It’s how I say goodbye.”
Wasn’t that the truth?
Corbin went to get up—or at least that’s what his brain told him to do. Only, his body was awake, and he was lost in the scent and feel of this man.
It scared him.
Oh, it scared him so damn much.
This was a risk he wasn’t willing to take. He knew about Alex’s past, and how he fucked and ran. He’d heard him talking about it, and he knew it was a coping mechanism.
Corbin just hoped they survived this.
Because he was about to do something so fucking stupid that he didn’t think anyone would come back from it.
Finding Alex’s mouth, he kissed him, giving him that one moment he wanted.
He stole a little calm for himself, knowing it would blow up. Well, that was tomorrow Corbin’s problem.
He’d deal with the fallout then.
There was a hot tangle of tongues, and hands wandered. In that moment, both men forgot the pain, and instead, they tried to find that silence.
So they could be at peace.
Alex’s hands were in his hair, and Corbin kept him pinned to the mattress. The whole time, he was looking for the signs to see if this was what the man truly wanted.
He was seeking out that reaction of his body being pressed to his.
And there it was.
Not one, but two erections.
From his response to him, there was no doubt that Alex hadn’t lied. He’d definitely been with a man before.
Or he was damn good at just sex.
As he broke the kiss, Corbin had to work his way through this blindly. More often than not, when he had sex, he asked questions like Ethan and Gene had taught him years ago.
He didn’t know if Alex was a top.
