“I miss him so much.”
Ethan closed the book.
That’s when he shared even more.
“The job of the Shaman is to help people when they come to him. You came to me, and I pushed you away because that anger lives and festers in me. I need you, Dad. I need your help before you’re gone. I don’t want to be this man anymore. I don’t want to hurt and be angry. I need you to be strong enough to show me how to get out of this. I don’t know how anymore.Granddad was right. If you go before we figure this out, I’ll be left to carry it alone, and I’m not strong enough to do that. I’ve been fighting my whole life. Please give me the gift of love when you pass. I’m going to need it to survive.”
It was rare Ethan asked for anything. That wasn’t his nature. Now, he was asking for what was likely the most important thing in his life.
Peace.
So, Wyler would give it. As a father, it was his burden to carry, and his job to give his son that gift. He was absolutely right. Callen was Timothy’s, and Ethan was still his.
Wyler got up, and Ethan wasn’t sure what he would do. He was accustomed to him running.
With Wyler, it was hit or miss.
Instead, he moved closer to him, and he hugged him. He pulled him up, and he held his son, and in that moment, he wasn’t living to see his grandkids get older.
He was living to see his son heal.
He couldn’t go yet.
There was much to do.
“I forgive myself,” Wyler said, knowing that was the last piece. “I need you to forgive yourself now, too, Ethan. Please let it go, so we can be free. My pain is your pain, and we are tied together. Let’s release it together, too.”
Ethan rested his head on his father’s shoulder.
“I’m tired, Dad,” he whispered. “I’m so goddamn tired. I don’t know how much more I have left in me.”
He held him up.
“We’re going to make it, EJ. I promise that when I take my last breath, you will be okay, and you will be free of this. I promise that the only thing left between us is love from father to son.”
He hoped so.
“I love you, Son, and I will always love you. I don’t need Timothy to tell me how to live. I know what I need. I’d love to go with you tomorrow when you go to the council. I’d love to sit beside you as you take on the legacy of the Blackhawks. Let me be by your side because you’ve been beside mine during doctor appointments and chemo.”
Ethan would love that.
He knew how difficult this journey had been. What he wanted was to be with the people he loved.
The people who sustained him.
“Yes, please,” he said.
Raphael winked at Wyler, and got up from the table. He knew that the two men were going to be okay, and would fight the good fight for as long as they could.
Wyler against Cancer.
And Ethan against the darkness.
The Blackhawks would be fine.
They always were.
Chapter Fourteen
