As he came back in, he sat.
Flipping to the page, he read to him.
‘My dearest son,
You are a good man.
You are a strong man.
You are not a disappointment.
I know that the anger holds you, and it grinds away at your soul, but before your time is gone, like your ancestors before me, I need you to remember one thing.
When two forces come head-to-head, the one led by love is the one that will win every single time. You don’t disappoint me with your anger, but yourself. Let go of the pain. For as I have left this realm, you have not, and there is duty yet to be done. You are a Blackhawk, and that matters.’
He looked up at his father.
“He’s not talking to me, Dad. He’s talking to you. I have never really been his son. Oh, he raised me, but we all know his love for Callen was far greater.”
Wyler opened his mouth.
And Ethan stopped him.
“Dad, don’t. It’s okay. Callen needed it more. Callen had no one fighting for him. I’m a survivor. My mother gave me the skills, even as a child, to fight and keep fighting. It’s why I’ve made it. Callen was closer to dying than me. I’m okay with it. I’vecome to grips with it. I may have called him dad out of anger for you, but he never was my father. That was always you.”
Wyler heard the words, and they made his heart ache.
“These were Timothy’s last words for you, and you didn’t want to pick up the mantle, and that’s fine. I’m here to do it. It calls to me, but I need you to heed the words of the shaman.
Wyler said nothing.
So, Ethan continued.
‘For you will be the one your grandsons look toward to see an example of love. I don’t doubt that when you see them, and raise them, you will love them more than you love yourself. You will have your redemption.
Raise them like you wanted to raise your own sons. Raise them to be strong, powerful, and filled with love and light. I know for a fact that Ethan will NOT be able to survive this without you finding peace. You’re the thread that brings him back to his life. With love, he will flourish.
His mother only taught him so much. You must finish that job. You must show him that a father is unselfish, and that your love will always be his.
Once before, I told you to go get your son. Again, I’m telling you the same thing. He floats on an island built of hate, and you float on one of regret. Only one will survive the other, and it is not his duty as a child to save you. Like it wasn’t your duty to save me. I am sorry that I didn’t do the best job raising you. I’m sorry that I didn’t give you what you needed after your mother died. Don’t repeat the process.
Show him love.
Show him peace.
Show him a father, and in return, when you pass, it will leave behind peace. I can tell from the smoke when that will be, and the anger will end your life sooner rather than later. Be one with peace, and make forgiveness of yourself the priority. Without it, Ethan will NEVER get out from beneath it. If you don’t forgive you, he will never feel worthy to forgive himself.
I wish I had the intelligence then to have this conversation with you, but when you get older, you get wiser. Once more, I ask if you will do the right thing, and once more, I wait to see it happen.
I love you, Wyler. You were my son, and you will always be my son. I never doubted you’d turn your life around. I’ll be waiting for you when you cross. I’ll be there when you meet our maker, and I will be proud of you. Be a father in your last days. The boy you made, and the one you let carry your pain needs you to forgive yourself, so he can forgive himself.
See you at the grounds,
I love you, my son.
Dad.’
Wyler wiped his eyes.
