William slid his hand out of Adathan’s sleeve. “Yeah,” he said, stroking the full length of Adathan’s arm. “When we’re kids, we think we’ve got it all figured out. But then we step into the real world, and”—he exhaled sharply—“nothing makes fucking sense.”
Adathan’s eyes softened. He shifted closer still, gently pressing his palm against William’s chest.
“No one tells you it’s going to be like this.” William’s fingers followed the curve of Adathan’s shoulder, then brushed the back of his neck, tracing slow circles on his skin.
Adathan closed his eyes, a serene smile growing on his lips.
“For the longest time,” William said, “you think you’re the biggest doofus in the world, and that everyone else is just laughing behind your back, making bets on which Darwin Award has your name on it.”
Adathan opened his eyes, arching an eyebrow.
“Darwin Awards are fictional awards given to people who die in extraordinarily idiotic ways,” William said. “They’re called Darwin Awards because—well, you must know who Charles Darwin is?”
Adathan nodded. “The man who lives in apartment number one.”
“Wh—he’s calledCharles Darwin?”
Adathan chuckled. “No. His name is Geoffrey Hancock.”
“You—” William narrowed his eyes.
Adathan pressed his fingers against his lips, giggling softly.
William felt his upper body inch forward, pulled in by the sweet melody of Adathan’s happiness. He couldn’t care less it was at his expense—Adathan could mess with him all he wanted if it meant William got to see those crinkling eyes.
What was he talking about again?
Right. Darwin Awards.
“But eventually, you realize,” William said, running his fingers through Adathan’s hair, “that everyone’s just faking it—pretending they know what they’re doing. We’re all just as clueless.”
Adathan hummed, his features relaxing with delight. He pressed his hand against William’s chest again, right above his heart. Half of his bandages had been removed. Only a few cuts remained. Soon, all traces of the hotel incident would be erased forever. But William doubted he’d ever forget.
Expectations could inflict deep, long-lasting wounds. Especially those imposed upon yourself. But they were never born out of thin air; they were the result of social pressure.
William was intimately familiar with that fact.
Oh, how he’d wished for an instruction manual when he was just stepping into adulthood. An easy five-step guide on how to be a good person; how to make the right choices; how to succeed; how to matter.
William’s heart sank. He hadn’t realized the pressure he’d put Adathan under. What was worse than being thrown into adulthood with no instruction manual? Having one and being told everything it contained was wrong.
“Listen,” William said softly. “I know I ordered you to behave like a person for the rest of your life, but... what I truly want is for you to be yourself. No matter what that entails. So, I guess,if you’d like...” He forced the words out. “...me to read your manual...”
Adathan opened his eyes, his brow furrowing slightly. “We threw it away.”
“I could get the digital version.”
Adathan’s brow furrowed further. “Are you sure, William? This is what you want?”
“Doesn’t matter what I want. This is about you. Whatever you choose, I’ll be supportive. Even if that means going back to... you know.” He suppressed a grimace. “The way you used to be.”
He smoothed the mess he’d made of Adathan’s hair with his fingers. “Just promise me one thing. Don’t let those rules define who you are forever. As soon as you’ve outgrown them, kick them to the curb and don’t look back.”
“I promise.”
“You can be whoever you want to be, Adathan. I mean it. And it’s okay if it takes you a while to know what that is. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure it out myself.”
“I like the person you are.”
