Regan
Benefits only doesn’t include breakfast
Me
Not even exclusive benefits?
Regan
Nope
Me
Fine. You missed out on eggs and bacon. And you did spend the night, is that part of exclusive benefits?
Regan
By accident. Won’t happen again
Me
I didn’t mind. You can stay anytime
No response after that. I keep checking my phone every chance I can throughout the day. I work with the crew in the shop until lunchtime. They are getting ready to leave to go to lunch together; they always invite me, though I usually decline, opting to just eat at home. Today, though, I do agree to go with them. With all the swirling emotions inside me that I’m still coming to terms with, not allowing myself to get too deep in thought sounds a lot better.
They have chosen a local Mexican restaurant, and we are quickly seated by the host and order our drinks. Where everyone seems to get some form of alcohol, I’m just not in the mood and go for just a water.
Mark, one of the engineers, says jokingly, “What’s the matter with you? No beer?”
I smile and shrug. “Nothing. Just don’t feel like it today.” Mark just blinks at me, like he’s trying to read my thoughts, to see what’s really happening.
“No, something is up with you. What is it? Is it the stress of making it into Cup? We can still make it,” he says reassuringly. I figure I can let them think it’s just racing related and nothing to do with my lingering thoughts of my rival, Regan Brady.
“I just want that Cup seat so badly,” I say, giving my partial truth. I scan the faces down the table, and everyone isnodding in agreement, determination in each of their eyes. They have all been working so hard to get me there, they deserve this win, too. “Not just for me, but for y’all as well.”
“Don’t worry,” says Travis, the lead mechanic at the end of the table. “We’ll get you there.”
The whole table starts to hoot and holler, and I smile at them. Knowing they have my back no matter what, it’s a good feeling to have. One that I’m not privy to a lot of the time. I’m so used to being on my own. My team reminds me that’s not the case, that they have my back. “Shhh, people are starting to stare,” I say as the room full of patrons are now all looking at us. “Y’all are gonna get us kicked out.”
The table calms down just as our food arrives, and it’s mostly quiet as we dig into our meals. Maybe they are right that we can get into Cup, but that means Regan doesn’t. The thought makes me uneasy. It makes me worry that she may be too distracting after all. I just can’t give her up. Now that I’ve had a taste of her, the pull I feel toward her is so strong, and I know I just can’t let her go.
FORTY
REGAN
I spenda lot of time in the shop with the crew and Dad to ensure everything is covered before leaving for Atlanta for the next race. Everyone has already left, and I was going to stay a bit longer until my phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s Leslie, texting the group chat with Cindy and myself.
Leslie
I need a drink and my girls. Meet me at Dragon’s Fire at 5
Cindy
I’ll be there after class. Don’t get drunk without me
Me
I’ll be there
