I walked back toward the car where my driver kept the engine running and the heat on. When I got there he was waiting with the door open and an umbrella up.
"Sir?" he said, asking in his own way where we were going next.
I looked up at him and nodded my thanks. "We'll head down town, David. How about Kay's on Twelfth Street?" When he met my gaze it was with a smile.
"Of course, sir," he said with a knowing nod and a half smile. "I'd be happy to."
That interaction was enough to confirm to me that my direction was correct. I intended to marry Veda Porter. She was the best thing that had happened to me in years. The only thing in my life that I saw as one hundred percent positive now, and there was no doubt in my mind I had to have her.
Let Clayton rage.
Let alcohol tempt me.
Let life spin wildly out of control now.
Because I had an anchor for my soul, and no matter what storm came against me, I knew I would be just fine with Veda in my arms.
24
VEDA
The toothbrush scrubbed at my fuzzy teeth, removing the taste of bile after vomiting this morning. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror preparing for work without any way of knowing what to expect.
I should've told Asher weeks ago about this baby and the stupid choice I made to conspire against him but the more this blew out of proportion with Clayton, the more I clung to my secrecy hoping against all hope that Clayton would be the one to spiral out and lose control.
Yesterday had only been a mockery to that hope. When things hit the fan it wasn't Clayton that walked away looking like a fool. It was Asher. Though, he had messaged me before sleeping last night to tell me he had managed to stay sober, for which I was proud of him.
But every day presented a new challenge at this point. Getting ready for work felt ominous too, like at any second I was going to get a kick in the teeth and be reminded of how badly I messed up.
I hadn't reached out to Asher after sneaking out of his office, either. My plan to slowly disentangle my life from his wasn't working. It seemed that every time I took a step back, he took one toward me. I wanted to prop him up with Penny or Robert, but Asher kept clinging to me like I was his life preserver. He even called me his "salvation" while having sex with me.
It broke me.
Something inside me snapped completely in half with absolutely no way to fix it. My back got pressed to a brick wall and Regan's words came back to bite me. Not just bite—devour me whole.
She condemned me from the beginning and I could only hang my head in shame knowing the "I told you so" was coming. I was a bad person, a horrible human being, and I had to tell Asher the truth.
Today was the day.
So when it came time to get in my shower, I procrastinated. The act of preparing for work only reminded me of the inevitable. I found myself brushing my hair again, flossing, picking at a pimple and rearranging my makeup.
When someone pounded on my door, I was grateful for the distraction. I grabbed a towel and lashed it around my body and darted to the front of the apartment to see who it was, thinking maybe it would be Asher and we could do this in privacy instead of in his office.
But to my utter shock, it wasn’t Asher at all.
Clayton stood on my welcome mat pounding on my door. This time, he looked as put-together as ever. His hair was coiffed, histie cinched straight. He had on a dark blue suit and didn’t look like he'd been drinking or lacking sleep for that matter.
"Open up, Porter!" he screamed through the door, frightening me.
After the way he treated me at The Pub last weekend, I had no desire to let him in my apartment, but leaving him on my doorstep to screech at the top of his lungs wasn’t smart either. I just moved here. I didn't want my neighbors complaining about me.
I undid the chain and then the lock but didn’t get the chance to turn the knob before he barged right in, sending me scurrying backward as he slammed the door.
"Cough up the recording… I know you have to have one…" He stomped in with eyes searching, probably for my phone, which I knew was on my end table next to the remote. I left it there after watching the morning weather report.
"Clayton, why are you here? I'm just about to shower for work."
"Yeah, that's obvious," he snarled. "You should know I'm telling my brother everything today." He kept searching, moving toward my kitchen and tossing my mail around. "And after that, the board will probably ask for your resignation."
