“Well…” Celeste prolongs the vowel in a way that suggests she might have a different opinion. “Maybe you hooked up with the wrong men before, so I wouldn’t discount the idea of getting back on the horse.” She makes quotation marks with her fingers.
“My last hookup…” I cringe. “The morning after was awkward as hell, and negated the mediocre night completely. I just stopped trying, I guess.”
“Oh my God, one shitty experience can’t guide your orgasm quest.” All animated, Saar pushes to allfours like she could make her point only if she leans closer.
“An orgasm quest?” Lily giggles.
“I can take care of my own orgasms, thank you very much,” I protest.
The three women look at me with various levels of skepticism.
“It’s not the same.” Lily voices what they are probably thinking. Lily, the least experienced one.
“Was Ethan your first?” Celeste asks.
“No,” I admit so quickly, and they all snicker. “I enjoyed my slutty early twenties.”
“So then you have no problems with hookups.” Saar props herself on her forearms on the coffee table between us, her interviewer nature shining through.
I shrug. “I was with Ethan for five years, and he was the one. He kind of erased the guys before him.”
“So perhaps the hookups after him were tainted by your grief?” Lily squeezes my shoulder. “You didn’t allow anyone close enough.”
“When did you become so perceptive?” I tease. Lily is fourteen years younger than I am.
“Older man.” She shrugs, referring to Declan.
Saar groans, and I laugh.
“Wait a minute,” Celeste says. “When was that?”
All three women look at me with expectations. “When was what?” I pretend not to understand herquestion, because, for some outlandish reason, I’m embarrassed.
“When did you last fuck someone?” Celeste clarifies, frowning in concern.
Heat swallows my cheeks. “A year or so ago?”
The silence after my sad engagement story was filled with compassion. This pause is just plain shock.
Lily leans back, as if looking at me from a different angle would help her understand the words.
Saar seems to have a blinking seizure, and Celeste just gapes.
“Jesus, as I said, I can take care of my own orgasms.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Merde,” Celeste utters. The French dancer has never stopped swearing in her native language. “We’re definitely finding you a man.”
“Unless youwant tobe celibate. We won’t judge you.” Saar gives me a reassuring smile, and the other two women agree vigorously.
I roll my eyes. “I know you won’t judge me, but it feels like you’re pitying me.”
“It’s more like I can’t imagine…” Saar takes a gulp of her wine.
“I had no sex for five years before Declan.” Lily shrugs. “I didn’t have time to even think about it. I understand, but I’m glad my dry spell is over.”
“Say the word, and I will have all Caleb’s friends line up to wine and dine you,” Celeste says.
“Corm would help, too.” Saar perks up. “If that’s what you want.”
