I’ve been thinking about being saved, but now it feels like I was rejected. Which rationally I know is not true, nor do I care. My stomach still churns at the thought.
“It was his idea to take you to the gala and then the luncheon.” Saar slides down from the sofa and folds her long legs under her, elegant as always. “It’s weird that he would give up like that.”
“Perhaps he realized I was more trouble than hecared for. He drove me to my father’s home. The whole thing just dampened the mood.”
“Would you like to revisit it?” Celeste asks.
“No,” I say too quickly. “I don’t know. At the spa, it was a different world. Later, it felt like a mistake. So I’m glad we got interrupted. Besides, he’s been out with several long-legged socialites this week.”
“So you’re looking him up?” Celeste grins. “Also, you can’t be sure those pics are recent.”
I sigh. “I hate to admit that my pride is hurt. I wanted him to call and try to pick up where we left off. Not because I want to follow through, but because it felt nice to be wanted.”
“You have been single for too long. We need to find you someone,” Saar suggests.
“Like a fake husband?” I deadpan.
All three of my friends ended up in marriages of convenience with Merged partners. How ridiculously odd is that?
But I guess those workaholics don’t have other social lives other than the ones that came with us. And since Saar is Caleb’s sister… well, somehow my close friends paired up with the rich businessmen.
“Touché. But seriously, when was the last time you dated? I don’t remember you going on a date in… well, ever.” Celeste turns to me.
How have we been friends for years, and I never told them why I don’t do romance?
I take a sip of my wine. “I don’t do relationships.”
“Why not?” Saar cocks her head, her eyebrows drawn together.
This time, I take a long gulp before I place the glass on the table. Clooney jumps down, disturbed by my move.
He walks away to find his peace in my bedroom, and I swear he sighs his annoyance. My cats give an Oscar-worthy attitude most of the time.
“I was engaged ten years ago.”
The bomb renders the room speechless. The echo of my words booms in my head. I haven’t said the words in… well, a decade.
I brace for the agonizing squeeze in my chest, the tightening of my stomach, and the scorching lava in my throat—the usual manifestations of the memory and the grief—but while sadness descends, my reaction is pale.
I haven’t thought of Ethan in a long time. The realization surprises me, and a wave of guilt washes over me.
“He died in an accident a few weeks before the wedding,” I complete the sordid story, and the silence deepens.
“I’m so sorry.” Saar speaks first, and my friends murmur agreement with the sentiment.
“Thank you. Needless to say, I’m healed from the heartbreak, but not willing to chance it again. So I avoid relationships.”
Lily comes over, hugs me, and stays seated on my armrest. Her closeness wraps me in comfort I didn’t even know I craved.
“I can’t imagine what that must have been like,” she says. “But love surprises us, even if we don’t seek it. Don’t let the grief stop you from living.”
“You deserve to be happy,” Saar adds.
“Well, in any case, I don’t think a lifetime of happiness is what Xander Stone offers.”
Saar snorts. “Smart words.”
“I agree. If you’re avoiding heartbreak, stay away from him,” Lily says.
