“In what way?”
“She just wants to be alone. We are just two people who exist in the same apartment right now. I just seem to piss her off.”
“You are pretty annoying.” Flex tries to lighten the mood, but I down my drink and signal for another.
“I think she’s happiest when I fall asleep on the couch, far away from her. She hides her scars behind closed doors, as if I’m going to be repulsed to see her. Or maybe it has nothing to do with me, and I’m just a vapid narcissist.”
I down a second drink.
“Apparently, I’m hovering. I told her it’s part of being her Dom. It’s in our nature to take care of those we love. But her answer was that we can safely say that’s over. I didn’t push her to elaborate, but I’m worried.”
“She’s traumatized. It will take time for her to feel like herself again.”
“That’s just it. Does she see herself as a submissive anymore? I got involved in a situation she said she could handle herself, and it set our lives ablaze. I’m losing her.”
“She’s a submissive. It didn’t come out until she met you, but it’s clear to any Dom in this place. Am I right, Dalton?” Flex asks.
“He’s right. Maybe she’s questioning it right now because of what happened, but when she pushes you away, she wants to know you’re coming back. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute.You’re a voyeur, Ry. You get off on watching. Watching her. The scars will be messing with her head.”
“I don’t care about the scars. She’s fucking beautiful.”
“Butshedoes.”
“I’m an asshole.”
“No, you’re not. You have your own damage right now, Ry. You almost died in the space you worked so hard for. You’ve been putting everything into looking after Aspen, but who’s looking after you?”
“I don’t care about me. I just feel like she’s slipping away from me, and I won’t fucking survive if I lose her. Do you know how much of a scumbag I am? There were moments in the hospital when I was angry at her. Angry that she had so little regard for a life that matters more to me than anyone in the world. I’d die a thousand times over for her to stop her from feeling the way she does now.”
“You’re a Dominant,” Dalton says with such clarity. “As much as she has the nature of a submissive,youhave the heart of a Dominant. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you need to step up and lean into your instincts. What are they telling you?”
“That I need to break through her shell. To make her realize that this changes nothing. In fact… no, it changeseverything. She’s the one. I know with absolute certainty and a clarity I’ve never had.”
“Then you need to make her see that.”
“How? She doesn’t want me anywhere near her.”
“What do you do when a sub isn’t going to be rewarded with sex?” Flex asks. “Dominant 1-0-1.”
“Compliance, no matter what.”
“Bingo. I know you want to give her space, but the opposite is what will bring her back to you. Make her comply. It doesn’t need to be anything harsh or sexual, but you need to enforce the boundaries of your Dom/sub relationship.”
“He’s right,” Dalton agrees. “When my mom died and I went off the rails, it was Naddie who brought me back. She forced me to dominate her. At the end of the day, they have all the power in this dynamic. It may seem counterintuitive, but by dominating her, you’re going to be giving herbackthe power. She has no control over her injuries. She needs to feel secure with you.”
“Thanks, guys. I’ve been feeling like I need to push it, but I was afraid of making it worse. I value your opinions, especially as Doms.”
Now I know what I need to do.
“Is there anything we can do to help the process with Dulip?” Flex is always thinking two steps ahead.
“Find me a new premises. There’s no saving the building.”
“I’m on it.”
“Thanks. I need to make things right with Aspen before I think about anything else.”
“We’ve got you, bro.”
