“She’s angry at the world and specifically, at my dad. He’s been dead for a few years but it doesn’t matter to her. She’s still furious. And she was disappointed because I’m so different from her,” I explained. “For one thing, we don’t look alike.”
“You take after your father, and she’s pissed at him so that makes her pissed at you. What kind of stupid-ass logic—”
“It’s not that. I look like him in a way, because I have his blue eyes. So does Willow, but she’s gorgeous and she always had so many friends. She also got a lot of attention from boys and my mom would have preferred if I was more like that. Pretty and popular,” I stated plainly. “But she doesn’t like Willow either, for other reasons.”
“Your mom sounds like a bitch,” Everett said. It had come out a little loud, and I glanced over at the table with the little boy. Fortunately, they were far away and hadn’t caught the swear word.
And he wasn’t wrong about that, so I nodded. “Your parents don’t sound any better. I’m glad you had your grandma.”
“I wish that I still did. We both knew that the end was coming but when she died, I couldn’t believe it. I think I was in shock last summer. I don’t even remember training camp.”
“And that’s when you got married,” I pointed out. When he hadn’t been thinking straight.
“I guess it seemed like a good idea but about a minute later, it fell apart.”
People acted weird from grief, which I’d seen for myself. “I think you feel better now?” I guessed, and he shrugged.
“I miss her a lot. I miss talking to her,” he said. “I thought that was how marriage would be, having someone to talk to.” He twirled his fork. “I sound like I’m the same age as that kid over there.”
“No, it makes sense to me,” I said. “I would like that, too.” I hadn’t seen it with my own parents, but some couples had that.
“What you’re saying about Willow doesn’t make sense.”
“You didn’t know her before everything happened with Boyd,” I said. “She’s getting back to normal now, but for years she was so sad. Now she’ll be the life of the party again.”
“I mean that you two look just alike,” he said. “No, your hair is different.” He reached and tugged my ponytail. “Hers is lighter.”
“She’s blonde,” I agreed. “I guess that there’s a family resemblance between us.”
“It’s more than a resemblance. If she wore a wig, people wouldn’t be able to tell you apart,” he said. “Her personality is very different from yours. You’re hardworking and careful. You think about other people.”
“Willow does, too,” I assured him. “She’s very thoughtful about Boyd’s needs and feelings and I imagine that they’re very happy together.”
“You imagine it?” He looked at me. “You don’t know?”
“I haven’t seen her since they moved in together. I guess they’ve been planning it for a while, and it’s funny because that’s exactly what my mom did, too. She gradually moved stuff out of our house and then poof. She was gone.” Yes, it was funny. “My sister had been bringing more and more of her clothes and hair stuff to his place, which I was actually pretty grateful about because we didn’t have a lot of storage.”
“Your whole apartment is the size of a closet,” he pointed out, and maybe that was the kind of closet he was used to.
“Boyd had been living with roommates but he rented a new place for himself, and he and Willow are there now.”
“That will make it easier to leave your apartment behind.”
I nodded. “There’s a lot less to carry in my car.”
“Get movers,” he suggested, and I didn’t bother to argue with that. No, I would not get movers, because movers were expensive and now I had three jobs but they were still all part-time. “Where are you going next?”
“I’m not sure yet. The motel where we lived before is full, but with schools downstate starting soon, most people will have to get back to their lives and it will free up space for me.”
“You’d go to motel? For how long? You mean, until you can find a better apartment.”
I shrugged. Maybe, or maybe I would just stay there. It didn’t really matter. “I signed a ten-month contract with the school. Then I could try to get a teaching job somewhere else inMichigan, even somewhere far away. I don’t have to limit myself to a few districts.”
“Zoey, what the hell? I asked you about that months ago, and you said that you couldn’t leave the area.”
“There’s no reason for me to stay anymore,” I explained.
Everett was quiet. Then he bent closer to me, peering into my eyes. “Are you about to cry?”
