“No, I was just considering that if you changed, maybe Boyd could have, too. Maybe,” I said doubtfully. “Before, he was a spineless, weak—”
“He was not!” my sister suddenly yelled from the back, because apparently, she had been eavesdropping instead of sleeping. She startled both me and the driver and he swerved a little, a scary thing in these conditions. It took a moment to get the truck back on track.
The rest of the ride was full of Willow telling me how I was wrong about Boyd and I always had been, that I had never understood, that I was jealous, that I wanted her to be single because then I could keep smothering her, that I couldn’t understand what love was since I’d never experienced it, and other things like that. Some of what she said was about how I’d never had a boyfriend and that I’d never even been kissed. She was embarrassing me and not everything she said was true, so I felt like I had to defend myself.
“I’m not against relationships, not in general. I was against you and Boyd, but maybe…maybe he has grown into a bigger and stronger person. Not muscles, but character,” I said. “I hope so and I hope that you’ll be happy with him. I don’t want you to be lonely and sad because you miss him.”
“Ok, then!” she said angrily, but then she took a breath. “I’m sorry, Zo. I shouldn’t have said all that.”
“It’s ok, but just for the record, I have kissed people. Two,” I stated. She already knew that because I’d informed her of my short-lived romances. One had been with a percussionist (he was amazing on the marimba and glockenspiel but our dalliance had only lasted for a few minutes after a halftime show), and one had been with a saxophone player who had laid her lips on mine just before practice, and had startled me into almost dropping my horn and music folder. I’d had to tell her that I wasn’t interested but I’d added that I was impressed by her embouchure.
“I meant with kissing with tongue, but it’s ok,” Willow told me. I looked over at Everett, but his eyes were on the road and it didn’t really matter anyway. We were almost to the motel where I worked, and then we would drive to the motel where we lived and I didn’t have a lot of expectations about seeing him again. It was strange enough that he’d done this now, showing up tonight to talk to me. I wanted to ask if he planned to stay in touch, but would that have been a weird thing to say? I wished that I could ask my sister because she would have known, but it was impossible to do that in front of him.
So he ended up dropping us off at the motel—actually, he said goodbye and helped both of us out, first me and then Willow, and he waited until we got into my car and it started. Then he gestured for me to roll down the window.
“We’re playing at home this weekend, if they can keep the field clear of snow drifts,” he said. “The Acorns are coming in from Georgia.”
“That’s the name of a football team?” I asked.
“Yeah, because they’re the junior Oaks. Get it?”
“How embarrassing,” Willow muttered.
If Everett heard her, he ignored it. “It starts at ten.”
“Ok. Good luck,” I told him, and my sister reached over and punched my arm.
“He’s asking you to go!” she whispered, and I hoped he hadn’t heard that either.
“We would love to come,” I announced loudly, and then we did say goodbye. He got back into his truck but he waited again for us to leave first, and thank goodness that they had done a thorough job of plowing around here. We never would have made it back, but it still took a long time and I was so tired when we finally arrived.
That night, I made a decision about something important: in my new place, I would have an oversized furnace, the kind meant to heat a museum or an office building rather than an apartment, because that would be enough to keep things very warm. The system that served our motel room didn’t seem to be doing the trick, so I had gotten up and spread our coats over the thin comforter.
The cold hadn’t seemed to bother my sister. Willow was already back asleep and even though I was so tired, I couldn’t nod offmyself. She had refused to talk to me when we’d gotten into my car, absolutely ignoring all my questions about Boyd and what they had done tonight, how long they’d been in communication, and if he had really broken up with his girlfriend or if he was just lying about that. What I’d really been asking was if he was the same awful jerk that he’d always been or if he’d actually matured and changed, like Everett thought was possible.
She had looked out the car window and pretended not to hear me, but she had spoken up one time when she’d gotten into bed.
“Be careful with this guy, Zoey.”
“Who?”
“Who do you think?” she’d asked, annoyed. “Everett Ford!”
She was probably right, because my sister was so good at understanding and dealing with men. “What do you think he’s doing?” I remembered my idea about using his stepson for distraction as he robbed a bank, but the Junior Woodsmen couldn’t have been paid that badly. “I don’t really think that he’s a criminal.”
“A criminal? No, who said that? Just be careful. You’re really naïve.”
Now she was probably happy in her dreams about Boyd but I was still thinking about what she’d said. I actually wasn’t naïve, because I had more experience with people than my sister did. I was at the bar dealing with all kinds and now I was working at the front desk of the motel. So far, there hadn’t been many guests but I was prepared for anyone, due to not being naïve.Maybe I didn’t have the kissing experience that others had, and also the experience with activities that went beyond kissing…
Oh, geez. Even out of his presence and with the motel walls and several miles separating us, I felt a wave of embarrassment when I thought of Everett hearing that stuff about me. He certainly didn’t need to know how I was a little behind in the arena of kissing and other things like that. Anyway, we weren’t supposed to make comparisons between people, not according to what I’d learned during my teacher training. We all needed to strive and achieve to the best of our own abilities and not worry about what other people did. Therefore, I didn’t have to worry that in comparison to every other adult my age, I was really lagging in that arena of kissing and other things. There was no need to cover my eyes in shame in the cold darkness with my sister snoring next to me.
I didn’t need to think about how I’d seen his expression in the glow of the dashboard lights when Willow had announced that I better stop talking about Boyd, because my opinion meant nothing due to my lack of experience. Except she’d spelled it out a lot more clearly, and I had stopped looking at him because the sight of his raised eyebrows, slack jaw, wide eyes…
Anyway, my future boyfriend wouldn’t care that I was lacking that knowledge. He wouldn’t think that I was slow and that kissing didn’t count unless it was with tongue. He would be more than happy to put his tongue into my mouth and also use it on other areas of my body. I finally fell asleep thinking about that.
But then, just a moment later, I opened my eyes. I heard something, something annoying and loud—my phone, that was what it was. It wasn’t my alarm sounding off, not quite yet, but it was making the whistle that indicated I had gotten a text. I had turned up the volume because I’d been waiting to hear from my sister as we drove to pick her up and I hadn’t turned it down. I’d assumed no one would be contacting me in the middle of the night and also, that I’d need the extra decibels to wake me up in the morning.
Willow sighed and kicked out at me as my fingers scrabbled across the nightstand to find my phone, and then I stumbled out of the bed and into the bathroom when I saw who had been texting me.
