“It wasn’t just what you said about me not being Roman’s parent.” He takes another deep breath, squeezing my hand in his. “Yes, that’s what started it, but I would have gotten over that eventually. But Cris…it’s what you said about me not being cut out to be a Boss.”
“Carter—”
“I’m not finished.” His lips thin and he’s silent for a moment before he continues. “My father taught me all he knew once I killed Julian. I learned from my psychotic brother when he had me, because even though he did his best to get me to hate my life and myself, I was watching, paying attention to his movements, waiting for the day I could take him down. And then I met you, and I learned so much just by being at your side. I learned what it feels like to love, how to be a father, and what type of Boss I am.” He sighs and looks down, before meeting my gaze once more.
“I am a Boss. Until my nephew decides to take up his birthright, or my heir is old enough to take over, I will sit on the Council and lead with my fellow Bosses. Nothing you say or do will change that. I refuse to go back in the box you shoved me in.”
I gasp, feeling my heart crack all over again. “Is that what you think?”
He shakes his head. “That’s what I know. When I handed you the keys to the De Lucas…you shoved me in a corner and kept me there.”
“You asked me to take over!” I hiss. “You cannot accuse me of doing wrong when I did exactly what you wanted.”
“No!” He pulls his hand from mine. “I gave you the De Lucas because I trusted you with them. Until Leandro decided what he wanted to do, or Roman took over. But what I didn’t expect was for you to shove me into the place of your husband and fucking leave me there.Mafia spouse,” he spits the words. “It’s a joke of a title that means nothing. I worked my ass off for my position, to become the best guard I could for Roman, to be an asset for you.
“I had done everything I could to be useful to my family, and you? I don’t think you’ve ever forgotten the man you almost killed in that room seven years ago.”
“That’s not true,” I argue, but it’s weak, my voice isn’t any louder than a whisper.
“Are you sure? You’ve apologized, and we said we were moving on, moving forward stronger together. But I don’t think we ever really left that room, Cris. We tried…fucking hell did we try. We gave each other second chances…but maybe we shouldn’t have.”
“No!” The word almost gets stuck in my throat. Tears burn the back of my eyes, but I blink them away. “Carter…” I reach for him and he lets me once more. Tears fall across his cheeks, and he lets out a sob that shakes his entire body. I hold him close. “This can’t be the end, Amore Mio. We are stronger than this.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not. I know what it’s like to stand on my own two feet now. I know how strong I am as Boss and a man. As a father.” He pulls back to look at me, and fresh tears fall from his eyes when our gazes meet. “I know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally. To have someone who will follow me to the ends of the earth, simply because they want me.”
“Iwant you.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I want you too, but…I can’t have you. Not anymore. I need someone who will respect me, Cris. Who listens to what I say and don’t say. Who will always push me to do better, because they believe in me. You gave me what I wanted, yes, but on your terms.”
“If you would have said…”
“I want to believe that, I do. But, Cris, would that have changed anything? Could you have relinquished complete control and let me rule my Family as I saw fit? Or would you have tried to help?”
I swallow, unsure how to answer, and he smiles sadly.
“Right. It’s okay. You are who you are, and I love you for that, but I need more. This Council that Lio, Roman, and I are building? It is a true partnership of equals. We aren’t threeFamilies under one rule, we aretrulyone. We trust each other, and the people under us. We are going to bring this world to its knees, and I want you to be part of it. To be part of Roman’s life, no matter what he says—we both know he’s a stubborn little shit, and can hold onto his anger.”
“But you don’t want me to be a part of your life?”
“No.” Carter smooths his hand across my cheek. “I’ve found where I’m meant to be. The family I’m meant to have. And so have you.”
I shake my head. “I’m not in love with Allesandro.”
He smiles softly. “You are, you just don’t want to be. It’s okay to love him, Cris. To be with him. I don’t agree with what he did. I want to fucking kill him for hurting Lio, but that might be the dad in me talking.” He laughs a little. “Roman said I should ‘dad’ Emilio.”
“You’re good at it. Far better than I am.”
“Roman loves you. He wouldn’t be so hurt by what you did if he didn’t. You need to make it up to him.”
“I know. Once he’s back, I will.”
I get another watery smile. “Good.”
“Is this really the end, Carter?”
He takes a shaky breath. “Yeah, it is. I love Marcus and Keegan. I love Cole. I…I need to talk to them about it, but I want to make Cole my heir. Roman has the Amatos, and while I’m keeping the name, I am the De Luca Boss. I need someone, aside from Leandro and Roman, to leave my legacy to.”
“You really love them.”
