I have to lock my knees at the sound of my husband’s voice. It hasn’t been that long since I last saw him, but fuck…it’s the longest we’ve been away from each other.
Even when the truth of who he was came out, I saw him every single day of his torture.
I feel like I did the day my son was born: nervous and out of my depth, unsure if I’m ready for what lies on the other side of the threshold.
Taking a deep breath, holding my head high and pulling on my years of being Boss, I stride into the room.
The sight of Carter sitting in a hospital bed, with fucking Keegan in the chair next to him, holding his hand like it’s the thing to do, almost takes me to my knees. Seeing another man’s hands on my husband…it’s a blow like none I’ve ever felt before. I’ve been shot, stabbed, had my son stolen from me, and beenbetrayed by the man I loved… yet this…it cuts deep into my already bleeding heart.
“Cristian,” Carter says stiffly, with no warmth in his tone. His navy eyes are hard, but there’s a fissure in them as well. It's an emotion I can’t name, but that gives me hope that not all is lost.
“I’d like to talk to you…privately.” I glance at Keegan, who clenches his jaw and looks less than thrilled to see me. His gray eyes are a match to his sister’s when angry—an expression I became very familiar with over the last few days.
“Cris…”
“Please, Caro. It’s important.”
Carter sucks in a breath and closes his eyes for a moment before nodding. Looking to the man at his side, he says, “Please, give us a minute?”
Keegan looks down, the muscle in his jaw moving as I’m sure he grinds his teeth. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I need to. Please, Tesoro.”
Keegan sighs and looks at Carter, his expression softening. “Okay. I’ll be right outside, call for me if you need to, Love.”
Carter smiles softly and reaches for his face, cupping his cheek and leaning over to kiss him.
My heart clenches and I ball my hands into fists. Doc glances at me, the warning clear in his eyes when I meet his hard gaze. As much as I want to pull the asshole away from my husband, I don’t. The last thing I need is for Dr. Ranlen to threaten me with her scalpels—again—because I put her brother in his rightful place.
Keegan gives Carter a long, loving look before finally standing and meeting my eyes. There’s a promise of death in those intense gray eyes of his. If this were any other situation, I would appreciate that he’s so protective over Carter, but…I can’t be. Not now.
“If you hurt yourself further, I will withhold the good drugs,” Doc tells Carter before he ushers Keegan out of the room.
Once the door closes, Carter and I stare at each other, the tension between us thick and choking.
“I don’t know what’s left to say.” Carter looks down at his hands, twisting them together. “I think we both said everything we needed to.”
“No.” Taking a step forward, I fight to hold myself back. “You gave me your ring, talked about our son, but not aboutus. Giving me your ring tells me that we have things to work on.”
Carter lets out a stuttering breath, and looks up at me with eyes full of tears. “I wasn’t sure what I wanted when I did that…but now… Now, I do.”
I sneer. “Them. You’re leaving me for them.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I…this thing between us is new. We were just friends when you and I first separated. But somewhere along the way, they became so much more. I love them. I love their son. I want to see where it goes. This family we’re building…it means something to me.”
“Ourfamily meant something to you,” I spit. “Or did you forget that? Are you throwing away a decade of us because of one fight? For two people you’re saying you barely know?”
“No!” he snaps, his tone going cold, as his tears dry up. Shaking his head, he mutters, “You’re such an asshole. So defensive when things don’t go your way. I ignored it when I shouldn’t have all those years, and that’s on me, but dammit, Cristian, this isn’t easy for me.”
“It sure as fuck seems like it is, Carter.”
Shoving his blankets aside, Carter sits up and gets out of bed. He’s slow to get to his feet, and my first instinct is to help him. When I move though, he glares at me, as if daring me to take another step.
Carter stands to his full height, though he grimaces as he does. Regret rushes through me at making him feel as if he has to defend himself from me. He moves around the bed to stand in front of me, his eyes shining with a multitude of emotions. Pain, heartbreak, anger…it’s all there for me to see in his endless dark blue eyes.
“I loved you,” he says quietly. “I loved you for years. I thought you were my forever. You and Roman…you were the family I always wanted. I knew I was gay from a young age. My mother…she was a lot of wonderful things, but tolerant was not one of them. I wanted to prove her wrong, to show her that I could have a family.” He laughs quietly. “I showed her, didn’t I? I got married, raised a teenager, and did a whole lot of other things she didn’t agree with. I’m a Boss of something that is…revolutionary. I’m the father to an amazing man, and while my marriage went to shit, I got a second chance at love.”
I swallow and reach for him. I can’t help it. I need to touch him. He doesn’t pull back, or knock my hand away, so I take his and hold on tight. “Please…Amore Mio. I love you. I know what I said was wrong. I tried to hurt you in the same way I was hurting, but Carter…I know you’re a good father. Roman wouldn’t be who he is without you. I’m so fucking sorry, Amore. I hurt you in the worst of ways. I am weak. I am everything my uncle accused me of being. Not because I’m gay, or that I love my son, but because I was so sure I was right… I was so determined to not become him, to not admit that I was hurting, and I ended up destroying the best thing that ever happened to me.”
