“What happened?”
Doc sighs, and seems to brace himself before saying, “He almost killed Benjamin, so he’s sitting with him, waiting for the idiot to wake up.”
“What? Almost? That doesn’t make sense. Tennant doesn’t doalmostkilling.”
Doc grimaces. “He does when it’s an accident.”
“What? What the fuck happened?”
“From what we’ve been able to piece together, from Tennant’s broken account and Leandro, they were fighting and Benjamin got in the way. Ten had a knife and well…an inch or so deeper and Benjamin probably wouldn’t be alive. The knife went straight through and nicked a kidney. There wasn’t much damage to the organ, but it’s going to take a while for him to heal, as we don’t want to risk him bleeding internally, so he’ll be on strict bed rest for the first week or so. After that, it’ll be giving the wound time to heal, and recovering from the surgery. So he’s down for the count for a while. Tennant…is not handling it well, as you can imagine.”
I bet he’s not. I know Ten too well. He doesn’t do guilt or fear. Benjamin is a fucking dumbass who either has a death wish or somehow thinks he’s immune to Tennant’s monster. Just because he’s able to get through to Tennant, that he already sacrificed himself once, does not mean he’ll be safe.
As soon as I can get away with it, I need to have a conversation with him about his place in our family. It’s not just his relationship with Tennant he’s putting at risk with his idiocy, it's everyone.
“I need to see Ten.”
Doc looks like he’s going to protest, but simply sighs and nods. “I’ll allow you to see Tennant. He might do better knowing you’re okay. Right now, he’s sitting at Benjamin’s side, and I’m considering drugging his ass. So, if you’re able to get through to him, do it.”
“Thank you.” I look at the bedside table, and then back to Doc. “Where’s my phone?”
“Nope,” he says firmly. “You’re not getting that back for another day, maybe two. Leandro has work covered, and Jude is doing a phenomenal job as Roman’s Second. Keegan is back too. He and Tennant both should be recovering from getting shot. Arm wounds or not, they still need time, but I’m not pushing either of them right now. Carter, Keegan, and Jude have things under control. You’re not allowed to work until I say so. Be grateful there’s too much going on that I can’t ban you from working at all.”
I scowl, but know he’s not going to budge on this.
“Get cleaned up, I’ll get some food from the kitchen, and you can eat then see Ten.”
I try to argue but he stares at me until I reluctantly nod.
Luckily, he doesn’t watch me shower, but I notice the razors are missing from the bathroom. I might not be under suicide watch, but apparently, they don’t trust me, and I don’t blame them. I don’t trust myself.
Letting the hot water cascade down my body, I brace myself against the wall and fall apart.
My legs shake and barely hold my weight as I sob, the sound of the shower hopefully covering it.
Lio…Tennant…Roman… Hell, to a certain extent, Benjamin, even if I’m not sure whether I’ll let him live or not…all the pain and stress, the people that need me to be strong when I’m probably the most broken of us all… I don’t deserve them.
I don’t deserve their trust, loyalty, or dedication, but like hell am I going to let them down again. My Boys and my love need me to be strong, they see something in me that I never have, not after being torn down at such a young age.
But, I’m not alone anymore. I haven’t been for a long time.
Bad habits are hard to break, but Iwilldo it. Because my Family needs me, my Boys trust me, and fuck if I’ll let them down. No one will stop me from rescuing Roman and Emilio, or from being what Tennant needs. Not even myself.
Riding in the passenger seat of an SUV is…different. It’s even odder with the way Marcus is trying to surreptitiously side-eye me—and failing.
Biting back a sigh, I ask him, “Is there something wrong?”
“It’s just…I don’t think I’ve ever seen you leave the mansion without a suit on. Or really even inside the mansion.” He frowns as he keeps driving, his hands tightening on the wheel as if he's worried I’ll take offense. How little he knows now…
With a wry smile, I shake my head. “Suits are for those in power…or who pretend to have power, in my former case. I’m finding it quite comfortable to not wear them.”
Marcus grunts in response, but I don't push him any further. He’s expecting the old me, the me that was destroyed. It's too late, but perhaps I’m being given another chance. If so, I won’t fuck it up. There’s too much riding on it. Not my life, no, thatshould still be forfeit, but if there’s a chance I can get my love back, that’s what is important. That is what keeps my heart beating when I’d rather be in a grave.
By the time we’re pulling off the road, the tension is thick in the vehicle, and I wonder if he’s regretting bringing me. Not that I’d blame him. How fucking hard is it to connect to someone authentically? Fuck. I need him to throw away the preconceived notions he has of me, but how?
Marcus doesn’t say anything as he takes out his phone and sends a message. Within a few minutes, the doors to the back seats are opening, and Nario and Nicolo slip in. Nicolo doesn’t glance at me, but Nario gives me a small nod of acknowledgment. My heart clenches, but I force myself to ignore it. My Family…is not mine anymore. And this is just the beginning, I fear. I’ll have to get used to it.
Marcus takes it worse than me as he sends a glare their way. When he opens his mouth, likely with a rebuke, I lay a hand on his thigh and he automatically subsides, even as pain flashes across his face. He’s so used to protecting me, he’s forgotten it’s no longer his place.
