“Yeah, that just doesn’t help at all. So fuck you. And get the fuck out of my bed. You make my skin crawl.”
“But what about the kids?”
She grabbed the door handle and yanked. “Set your alarm so you’ll be up before them. Or stay awake and think about how you’ve ruined all our lives. Your new son’s too, because he’s going to have to wear this for his entire life.”
5 A.M.
Sienna didn’t go back to sleep, despite the lack of snoring in her room. Instead, she let Billie up onto Zane’s side of the bed, hoping it would provide her with some comfort. And that’s when she discovered that her fluffy shadow could somehow stretch her seventy-pound body across an entire king bed. At five o’clock, she threw off the covers, then made her way to the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee.
As she sat at the table and sipped from the ‘world’s best mom’ mug Parker gave her for Christmas, she waited for the sun to peek out over the trees. If only it would come up, she’d know everything would be okay eventually. When it finally appeared in a deep pink and orange glow, her muddled, confused mind cleared for the first time since she found out. She suddenly knew what to do.
She hurried to the guest room and flipped on the light, then hissed, “Get up. We need to talk.”
Sienna left the room immediately, not wanting to hear her husband complain about the hour. She quickly dressed in some baggy jeans and a black long-sleeved top that was cropped just above the waist, then returned to the kitchen to wait, her plan taking shape in her brain until she could seethe path ahead. It was going to be ugly, and she’d hate herself forever, but it was either this or sit back and let everything implode. And now, as she sat at their kitchen table waiting for him, the truth made her stomach tighten up. She had known for years that this would happen. If only she’d taken action at the first hint of trouble.
DECEMBER 31, 1989
SIENNA
Sienna sat at her dressing table applying a second coat of mascara while trying to ignore her raging case of heartburn. Ivy and Parker were staying at Zane’s parents’ place for the night so they could host a New Year’s Eve party. The thought of starting out a new decade without her babies felt wrong, but she was on a mission. One she had no choice but to complete for the sake of her two little darlings she kissed goodbye three hours earlier, and the one she hadn’t met yet.
Zane walked into the bedroom from the en suite in a cloud of steam wearing only a towel. “God, you’re beautiful.”
She gave him a half-smile in the mirror. “Oh, please, I already look like I’m six months along and it’s not even three.”
He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders. “You’re gorgeous like this. I love you pregnant.”
“That makes one of us.” Sienna did her best to hide a burp, but clearly Zane noticed.
“Still got heartburn?”
Sighing, she said, “I can’t believe it started already with this baby. It’s like I went straight to the third trimester.”
“Can I get you some Tums?”
“Already had my limit for the day.”
“How is there a limit on Tums? They seem so safe.”
“How are there warnings about too many eggs? Nothing makes sense anymore,” Sienna answered, tossing her mascara tube back into the drawer. “Oh, God, now I sound like an old woman.”
“Stop it. Thirty-five is very young.”
“Then why do I feel like I’m a hundred and two?”
He wandered over to the walk-in closet. “You know, if you’re not feeling up to entertaining, we can always cancel. Have an entire evening to ourselves—without the kids.” He poked his head out and waggled his eyebrows at her. After a second, his smile disappeared. “Not that I’m expecting anything from you. But think of how nice it could be. I’ll rub your feet while we watch a movie.”
“Zane McCreight—world-famous rock star—wants to spend New Year’s Eve watching a movie?”
“And rubbing your feet.”
She stood and joined her husband in the dressing room. “As wonderful as that sounds, seventy people are, at this moment, getting ready to ring in the new decade here. Because I invited them, for reasons I can’t understand right now.”
That was a lie. She knew exactly why she was throwing a party. Not that she’d share the reason with her husband. It would be humiliating for her and insulting to him.
He tugged a black tee over his head and slid on his favorite old jeans. “It’s because you’re a warm, welcoming woman who knows how to keep the band together.”
Sienna took down the hanger holding the navy V-neck wide-leg jumpsuit she’d had made for the occasion. It allowed her to show off her arms, shoulders, and cleavage (which had recently become one of her top features) while giving her enough room for her round tummy. She’d pair it with the diamond necklace Zane bought her for their fifth Valentine’s Day and some gold strappy sandals. “Did Claudia say she’d make it?” Sienna asked, trying to sound casual.
